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What happened here? (Help me with my text game continued)

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  • What happened here? (Help me with my text game continued)

    The original thread is...

    I read all the advice in the thread and I pretty much just wrote that HB off as not being interested in me by my own devices.
    Well, the following Wednesday I get this message from said HB out of the blue:

    (4:58pm) HB: So Ur 4 Sure Not Coming 2 The Tailgate ON Saturday???

    I read it and immediately thought she was baiting me to get free male attention, so I completely ignored it.

    Then I get a message today, nearly a week later... again, completely out of the blue:

    (11:52am) HB: I'm Sorry Ur (School) Card Wasn't Working. U Know U Have A Very Recognizable Voice Right???

    I didn't know it, but she must've been an earshot away from me when I was getting a replacement card since it had gotten demagnetized. When I got this message... I thought there had to be some level of interest. There's no way she's trying this hard to get attention from a guy she barely met for 30 minutes one day if there wasn't something there... probably.

    So I thought about what to text. Didn't want to text more than her, wanted the text to be fun and flirty.

    (12:04pm) DM082: Flattery will get you everywhere! What's up?

    (12:07pm) HB: (X) Meeting & Lab At 1pm. Nothing Much Other Than That.

    (12:12pm) DM082: I'm booked till 4:00. Grabbin' dinner at (Z).

    (12:14pm) HB: I'll B Here 'Til 7:30pm.

    And it's this point that I'm struggling trying to get the text messages to be shorter than hers'.

    It seems like logistics are working themselves out though, so, why not pitch a meet?

    (12:16pm) DM082: Cool, I'll be there at 6.

    Assumed the sale.

    (12:17pm) HB:
    My (Y) Meeting's At 6:30pm.

    I didn't know whether she was bullshitting me or legitimately had a meet then, but regardless I immediately stopped texting. Was worried she was baiting me to get attention.

    How should I play this, how should I have played this, and am I getting played?

    Also, just to be sure, this isn't the only girl I'm after. Just today I made 5 attempts while going about my business on campus. Got a number which seemed like it might be solid, but have yet to text.

  • #2
    I would DIRECTLY ask her out on a one 2 one date.

    Not a coffee date/lunch date/ "come out with me and my friends" date/ "i'll see you at x party" date.
    A one 2 one date where you are able to escalate and close out the deal.

    Then, and only then, do you find out what her agenda about you is.

    She will either get with the programme and you two will fuck, or she'll run a mile.

    My feeling, from what you wrote, is that she will do the latter.

    In which case i would delete her number on the spot and ask her not to contact you again.

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    • #3
      Cobi is right. It's time to bust the decisive move. You're beating around the bush. No more "I'll be at X at 6:00." No more "maybe I'll see you there."

      I'll put it in poker terms: you anted up when you approached and number closed. But now you're scared to play your hand because then she'll see your cards. You can't call forever though. Sooner or later you have to raise, or fold. Right now you're headed for a fold. I say see her vague invitation, and raise her a specific one. All in!



      • #4
        If it is the same chick from last time, she is an attention-whore and is back to revalidate herself. Doesn't mean you can't get her, but she needs to be in the backburner and you can't RELY on it.

        You started out good (I would've made it "flattery will get you anywhere! hehe" instead of asking "whats up?" though), but then got too eager and needy for the meet when she baited you with her schedule. Eagerness is different from "assuming the sale". I'd've just been a chill dude and tried to get her to invest more. This means for example NOT asking filler questions to keep her hooked. I'd've either gone radio-silent or said something short like "super-exciting. Enzzzoy!" to her boring bait-text at 12:07.

        You already did the job of pitching for the meet etc. last time AND she blew you off. So she knows you have intent. When they come back like that, they will work HARDER if you text them with NO sign of trying to meet them.

        I'd say that you already validated her because of your hurry to meet her, and your best bet right now is radio-silence.

        With this type of chick, your goal is to get her to INVEST, not to go in for a shot-in-the-dark pitch for a meet. That just plays into her hand IMHO. You can be very direct with girls in picthing the meet - see the last response I wrote on your previous thread on the subject. But the dynamic is different there. When you have not seen each other for so long and your texting is not that great and the chick is a validation-whore, the ONLY reason why she is talking to you right now is because of her need to know that she has you hooked. You should play it to the max and capitalize on it instead of deflating it at the very beginning by mistaking it for a genuine sign of interest.

        Be ready to lose her, but know the dynamic and keep it in the backburner and keep stoking the flames. Thats the memo.