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PLAYER GUIDE: Section 3. Starting Out

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  • PLAYER GUIDE: Section 3. Starting Out

    General Information: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.p...e-begins-today
    Section 1: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.p...UIDE-Section-1
    Section 2: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.p...n-2-The-Player

    Section 3. Starting Out

    1. Overview

    Despite the fact that there is a huge amount of material available on seduction the actual process is extremely simple.

    - Make yourself attractive.
    - Find women who appreciate your attractive qualities.
    - Fuck them.
    - Repeat with the same women (a relationship) or with different women.

    As you learn game, you will learn more about each one of these. If you are weak in one area it will make the steps below it much harder. You do not have to be stunningly good looking to be attractive but if you do not have anything that attracts women to you it will make finding women infinitely more difficult. However, do not make the opposite mistake and get stuck trying to perfect your attractiveness when you should be out there finding women. The best way to know that you are getting the steps above under control is to succeed at the step below.

    2. Being an Attractive Guy

    Go look in the mirror. A lot of things that make a guy physically unattractive are totally within your control. If you want excuses then make them. If you want results then do it. Get in the gym and start lifting weights. Moving heavy weights can help with losing weight and getting more muscle and it is also great for psychological reasons as well. Speaking of losing weight, if that is a problem get to work on that. If the opposite is a problem and you are to skinny the gym is even more important.

    If you see things in the mirror like bad teeth, acne, bad hair, or any of a thousand other things that are unattractive do what you can to fix it. If you can’t fix the things then you will have to work with what you have but why fight an uphill battle if you don’t need to? Hey we are not picking on you, we are also not going to change the world and pretend that looks do not matter. Fixing some of these is going to be easy compared to changing a lot of other things and they may have more effect in changing your virgin status to boot.

    In this same line of thinking look at your clothes, hair style, and etc. If you can make yourself look better do it. It is beyond the scope of this guide to declare what is in fashion. However, there is a thing, thanks to Mystery, called peacocking. He may have taken it to an extreme you might not be comfortable with or find effective but the one thing you can take from it is that you want to be noticed. Preferably in a good way.

    Just as importantly as the things we have covered so far, you need to act like an attractive male would act. . . . . Like being busy having to get fucking going, like right now.

    3. Approaching

    By far the biggest thing that prevents men from meeting women is fear. Many men, when they spot an attractive woman, immediately play this script in their head: "she's hot, but I'm probably not her type. She's probably seeing someone anyway. Oh and she's with a friend and she's probably here to have a drink and not meet guys. There's no point in talking to her if she's just going to shoot me down anyway." And so on. This is called Approach Anxiety, and it comes from FEAR. Yes, it's possible that she has a boyfriend or that you're not her type, but SO WHAT? You won't know that until you talk to her. PU is a numbers game, you have to meet many women to find ones who will want to sleep with you. Rejection is part of the game and it's totally OK. Getting over Approach Anxiety simply requires approaching many women. Check Appendix [to be added] for a Newbie Mission.

    Once you are able to conquer your fear and accept that rejection is part of the game, it's time for the approach. It begins with solid eye contact. If she's not looking at you, use your voice to get her to turn around. Holding eye contact creates tension, which creates intrigue and builds attraction. Next you need confident body language: Shoulders back, chest out, and head up high, but relaxed otherwise. When a guy is nervous, it shows in his body language; look in a mirror and practice looking like a confident guy who owns the world. Fake it until it becomes automatic.

    When you approach a woman, do it in a slow and relaxed fashion. Don't be in a hurry to start talking. The longer you make her wait, the more her interest will pique. Get close enough to her that you can touch her (which you will be doing very shortly!). Physical closeness creates even more tension. If you notice a common theme here, it's that tension is sexy, but only as you can remain calm and confident in the face of that tension. You want HER to be the one wondering, "who IS this guy?" Until it becomes the truth, you will just have to ACT like a guy who approaches women all the time.

    These non-verbal qualities do a large bulk of the work of building attraction for you. However, if you come across as nervous or unconfident before you've started talking, it won't matter much what you say. Practice feeling confident and reflecting it in your body language at all times. Some simple changes will by enough to get women to start noticing you. After that, practice standing close to women and locking eye contact. Once you can create and maintain sexual tension, then you can move on to talking to women.

    4. What the Hell Do I Talk About?

    One of the big questions that a lot of beginners ask is, “What do I say?” This is a big subject and there are a lot of ways to approach it. In the past, when one of the forum members was new he would read Gunwitch Method and get flabbergasted when Gun suggested talking about movies and TV. This guy didn’t know anything about pop culture, his TV didn’t get reception, the only movies he saw was Marvel Superhero movies with his kids. “Hey girl my kid's toys are named Buzz and Woody. I bet your toys have a similar name.” As time went on he discovered that it didn’t matter because he was totally fine talking about situational things that were happening in his surroundings. However, another guy might be in his element talking about whether David Bowie is hot.

    That bring us to canned material. Just in case you don’t know, from the very early days of the community guys asked the same question as the first line above. So the gurus started coming up with openers and other prepared subjects that guys could say. Some newbies memorized large amounts of this material and used it to interact with women.

    Despite the fact that this has fallen out of favor it is still an acceptable option. It is much better to spout canned material than it is to do nothing at all. If it helps you to get conversations going with women, do it. The thing is that everyone including the guys who wrote canned material will tell you that it is a crutch. If you do it, learn how it works. When it works. Then expand it and make it personal. If you are ever running out of material you are doing something wrong.
    {Link to some canned material or more info}

    Another approach was sold by David DeAngelo and he called it Cocky & Funny. It is built on the premise that it is more fun and makes better conversation if you don’t take things too seriously. That includes taking her too seriously. Bust on her a bit. Make it clear that you know you are a cool, hot and powerful guy and she should know she has to reach up to get to you. Be careful not to be truly heartless or cruel. It is not about destroying a woman's self esteem but having fun and building a clear dynamic of you in the driver's seat.
    {Examples or links}

    There are other ways to get that same dynamic going. Some guys can just go out and hang around people who are good conversationalists and learn it there, others can do trial and error, but others do well having it explained to them. So they may be nerds but if it works, it works.

    Be Mysterious. One of the key factors here is ambiguity. Don’t directly answer questions. Quite often go in an entirely different direction or perhaps hint at the answer but then leave another question. If you listen to good conversations in other areas of life you will find this is much more common than you might believe. The idea that half of learning a new skill is learning the language is a classical example. Learn to listen for double entendres where you can misinterpret or misdirect, especially toward sexual subjects or suggestions.

    Another thing that works well is being able to direct and lead the flow of the conversation. Practice taking the subject in a conversation and moving it to a new subject. Suppose she starts into the usual introductory things like where you work, if you like to stay and watch a movie or go out and other boring shit. Subtly, or not so subtly you begin to have fun with it and as with any of these conversational ideas, they should be about pleasure and making yourself and the women feel emotions. Emotions are often a key factor. Make her laugh but don’t become a dancing puppet. Who wants that? You need to have an ability to talk about a lot of subjects and not get bogged down in just a few. Hey even if it is the coolest video game on the planet, she might not totally dig talking all night about your dream to conquer level 7. Instead, you want to be the man of her dreams. Okay maybe that changed subjects a little too quickly but you get the idea.

    Being "cultured" is a great way to avoid running out of subjects. Read books, watch documentaries, be curious, get outside your comfort zone by doing new things and meeting new people. Don't be a know-it-all; when someone talks about a subject you know nothing about, listen and ask questions. After some time you will find yourself able to talk about almost anything!

    Before you learn to speak seductively with women, you need to learn how to socialize with people in general. Two great books that teach basic social skills are Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People", and Robin Dreeke's "It's Not All About Me: the Top 10 Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone". Bottom line learning to be social is a skill you can use in every walk of life. Apply yourself. Do this.


    Contributors to this section: Uncle Walker, Witcher, Tubarao
    Last edited by Tubarao; 01-09-2014, 06:36 PM.
    ~Tubarao
    fuzzyandoj.com
    www.crushingpavement.com

  • #2
    Tubs, quick question. If I contribute something to this do I retain the copyright? Part of my daygame book would go great with this and I would be cool with sedfast using it for the player guide as long as I retain the copyright to it.
    http://www.BecomeTheWolf.com/

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Warped Mindless View Post
      Tubs, quick question. If I contribute something to this do I retain the copyright? Part of my daygame book would go great with this and I would be cool with sedfast using it for the player guide as long as I retain the copyright to it.
      Yes, you retain the copyright, but you grant us the right to use the content as we please. If you still have an issue with this, start a new thread to discuss it (you can also refer to this thread for some info: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.p...-Now-Important)
      ~Tubarao
      fuzzyandoj.com
      www.crushingpavement.com

      Comment


      • #4
        Section 3. Starting Out
        1. An Overview

        Despite the fact that there is a huge amount of material available on seduction the actual process is extremely simple.

        Make yourself attractive.
        Find women who appreciate your attractive qualities.
        Fuck them.
        Repeat with the same women (a relationship) or with different women.


        As you learn game, you will learn more about each one of these. If you are weak in one area it will make the steps below it much harder. You do not have to be stunningly good looking to be attractive but if you do not have anything that attracts women to you it will make finding women infinitely more difficult. However, do not make the opposite mistake and get stuck trying to perfect your attractiveness when you should be out there finding women. The best way to know that you are getting the steps above under control is to succeed at the step below.

        1. Being an Attractive Guy.


        Go look in the mirror. A lot of things that make a guy physically unattractive are totally within your control. If you want excuses then make them. If you want results then do it. Get in the gym and start lifting weights. Moving heavy weights can help with losing weight and getting more muscle and it is also great for psychological reasons as well. Speaking of losing weight, if that is a problem get to work on that. If the opposite is a problem and you are to skinny the gym is even more important.

        If you see things in the mirror like bad teeth, acne, bad hair, or any of a thousand other things that are unattractive do what you can to fix it. If you can’t fix the things then you will have to work with what you have but why fight an uphill battle if you don’t need to? Hey we are not picking on you, we are also not going to change the world and pretend that looks do not matter. Fixing some of these is going to be easy compared to changing a lot of other things and they may have more effect in changing your virgin status to boot.

        In this same line of thinking look at your clothes, hair style, and etc. If you can make yourself look better do it. It is beyond the scope of this guide to declare what is in fashion. However, there is a thing, thanks to Mystery, called peacocking. He may have taken it to an extreme you might not be comfortable with or find effective but the one thing you can take from it is that you want to be noticed. Preferably in a good way.

        Just as importantly as the things we have covered so far, you need to act like an attractive male would act. . . . . Like being busy having to get fucking going, like right now. Later.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks UW! I'm going to rearrange this section and add your content a little later.
          ~Tubarao
          fuzzyandoj.com
          www.crushingpavement.com

          Comment


          • #6
            Getting over AA. This is from my daygame book but feel free to use it however you want.

            These missions build on top of each other to make sure you conquer approach anxiety. Do all the missions and in 20 days you will be able to direct approach.

            Day 1 Go a clothing store and pick out a new shirt that you look good in. Make eye contact with all women you see. At the checkout line ask the cashier how her day is going. Thats it!

            Day 2 Walk down a busy street and practice holding eye contact with women. Hold it until they look away. Don't worry if you creep women out.

            Day 3 Approach 10 woman and ask for the time then eject. Record how long it took you do make all the approaches.

            Day 4 Approach 10 woman, ask for the time, and eject. Do it in half the time it took you on day 3.

            Day 5 Approach 10 women, ask for time, eject.
            Approach 15 women, ask for time, tell her you lost your watch, eject.

            Day 6 Approach 10 women, ask for directions, thank her, eject.

            Day 7 Approach 10 women, ask for directions, thank her, eject.
            Approach 10 women, ask for directions, thank her with a high five, eject.

            Day 8 Approach 10 women, ask for directions, high five, eject.
            Approach 10 women, ask for directions, compliment her on her shoes/jewelry, high five, eject.

            Day 9 Approach 10 women, ask for directions, compliment, high five, eject.
            Approach 10 women, ask for restaurant suggestion, ask if shes been, get directions, high five, eject

            Day 10 Approach 10 women, restaurant suggestion, ask if shes been, directions, high five eject.
            Approach 10 women, restaurant suggestion, ask if shes been, shoe/jewelry compliment, directions, double high five, eject.

            Congratulation! You have now completed the first 10 days of the program! By now you have approached 136 women. The next 10 day will get progressively harder and more fun.

            Day 11 Approach 15 women, say hi, eject.
            Approach 15 women, say hi, comment on weather, eject.

            Day 12 Approach 15 women, say hi, tell her your name, shake hands, comment on weather, eject.

            Day 13 Approach 15 women, say hi, introduce yourself, shake hands, ask directions, high five, eject.
            Do the same as above but add in a compliment.

            Day 14 Approach 15 women, introduce yourself, shake hands, comment on weather, double high five, eject
            Approach 15 women, introduction, shake hands, compliment her style, double high five, eject

            Day 15 Approach 15 women, introduction, shake hands, compliment style, ask her where she bought her shirt, double high five, eject.
            Approach 15 women, introduction, shake hands, compliment style, ask here where she bought her shirt, tell her it makes her look cute, high five, eject.

            Day 16 Approach 15 women, introduction, shake hands, compliment style, ask here where she bought her shirt, tell her it makes her look cute, high five, eject.
            Approach 15 women, introduction, shake hands, tell her she is cute, ask her where she bought her clothes, tell her you want her to take you shopping sometime, ask for number.

            Day 17 Approach 15 women, introduction, shake hands, tell her she is cute, ask her where she bought her clothes, tell her you want her to take you shopping sometime, ask for number.
            Approach 15 women, introduction, shake hands, tell her shes cute, ask her what shes up too, tell her you want to hang out sometime, ask for number.

            Day 18 Approach 15 women, introduction, shake hands, tell her she is cute, ask what shes up too, have her tell you one cool fact about herself, tell her you want to hang, hug, get her number.

            Day 19 Approach 15 women, tell her shes cute, ask her name, shake hands, ask what shes up too, get 3 facts about her, tell her you want to hang, number close.

            Day 20 Approach 10 women, tell her shes cute, shake hands, attempt to keep a hold of hand, ask what shes up too, get three facts about her, share a fact about yourself, tell her you think shes cool, tell her you want to see her again, number close.

            CONGRATULATIONS! You have now conquered your AA and can now direct approach. After asking so many women for their number you undoubtedly have a bunch of numbers now. My follow up guide will show you exactly what to do with those numbers.
            http://www.BecomeTheWolf.com/

            Comment


            • #7
              Cool Warped, that's pretty long so I'll put into an appendix and link to it from this section.
              ~Tubarao
              fuzzyandoj.com
              www.crushingpavement.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Started writing some content for the approach section, but ran out of time. If nobody else contributes I'll finish it up Monday or so. I hope it doesn't get to a point where me and UW are the only ones writing content.

                Warped, the "Appendix" I mention in my text will point to your newbie guide.
                ~Tubarao
                fuzzyandoj.com
                www.crushingpavement.com

                Comment


                • #9
                  Filled out the rest of the Approach section. I welcome content suggestions. Also I hope someone writes something for openers and stuff. I can add material about situational openers and what not, but I'd rather not be the only one adding content. I understand that it's holiday time, so I won't be starting Section 4 until after the new year.
                  ~Tubarao
                  fuzzyandoj.com
                  www.crushingpavement.com

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I created a new (temporary) forum for the Player Guide and moved all the sections here. I will be starting Section 4 shortly. Please continue to contribute to this section as well.
                    ~Tubarao
                    fuzzyandoj.com
                    www.crushingpavement.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I would still post the new sections to General first to get more response.
                      0---: "Oh! He's dashing!"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Talking about approaching , i recently discovered a book "Its not all about me" , written by Robin Dreeke, and FBI Agent! On how to approache a get quick rapport from strangers!! Very useful, and easy to apply!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Witcher View Post
                          Talking about approaching , i recently discovered a book "Its not all about me" , written by Robin Dreeke, and FBI Agent! On how to approache a get quick rapport from strangers!! Very useful, and easy to apply!
                          Thanks! I added this to section 3.4, in addition to UW's content that he posted in the Section 4 thread.
                          ~Tubarao
                          fuzzyandoj.com
                          www.crushingpavement.com

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Another thing from my study on communication a some summer course:

                            -Talking with the girls (people) rather than talking to them!!
                            I have a friend for exemple who is a total nerd and know away more thing than me, but can't have good conversation with poeple, and many find him annoying, cause he just dispalys his knowledge without feed back needed. Me no, i talk with persons, my culture enable me to go trought the subject , but i never expose without purpose my knoweldge. Exemple: She have a book in her hand, sue the book tlak, the guy is a football fan, talk about it and so on!! Don't be a fucking nerd!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Perhaps someone can express this thought a little better.

                              Some elements of your plan (fitness, fashion, wit) may be longer term goals for you to set and achieve, but approaching should always remain your short term goal. No matter what stage you are in your self development you need to keep approaching. The sooner you start, the sooner you will start to improve. Set long term goals, but don't allow your pursuit of them to become excuses not to talk to new women. You can be in great shape, dressed impeccably and be the funniest mofo on the planet, but if you're not approaching, you're not getting laid.
                              Find a way to help her to do all the things she wants to.

                              Comment

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