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A GPUA's thoughts on Race Whining

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  • A GPUA's thoughts on Race Whining

    Some personal thoughts on race whining and other things that limit you. Specifically, from an Asian-American perspective.


    I'm a fairly green PUA. (I don't even know if I can have the 'artist' part in that abbreviation) I've laid 5 girls this year. Working on my 6th and 7th. Before that, I've laid only 3 girls over the span of many years. All of the girls I've fucked this year were all white, with one Black girl. At the risk of sounding like a Keyboard Jockey, I'd like to make a post about what I believe will be helpful for other minority men, specifically Asian men, continue on their journey of PUA.

    We see it all the time. I can't get laid by white chicks because I'm Asian/Black/Hispanic. I have a fobby accent. People think I'm poor. Girls are scared of me. White girls probably worry about what her friends think.

    Statistics are out there, and its consistent. Asians are the least desirable (South Asians even more so), followed by black, hispanic and middle eastern, and white men being the most desirable. I don't think anyone will disagree that race is a factor. What most non-community people would probably disagree with me is that it is a very minor factor, to a point that it can be disregarded.

    While we know that it is only a minor factor, I haven't seen much discussion on why it shouldn't be a big problem for Asian men trying to meet more women. I can identify two main questions that are asked by minority men.

    1. So why shouldn't I be worried about the fact that you belong to a less than desirable race?
    2. Isn't it a societal problem? Shouldn't society change to be more fair?

    Both of these questions will be answered in the body of discussion, but I will answer part of the second one here.

    Sure, that sort of change will be fairer and probably make the world a better place, but the world, especially the US, is already as fair as it gets. More importantly, it isn't going to help you. More race whining is only going to make you more distant from the objective you're trying to achieve (e.g. fucking chicks from different ethnicities), and reinforce what I call your limiting belief to even further limit yourself. As with anything else in life, focus on what you have control over, conquer it, and keep improving.

    The Limiting Belief

    I run a small, growing business. Often times I'm frustrated with the slow development, and I start looking for the reasons why. No matter what the market or economy is doing, 99% of the time the reason gets traced back to me. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to find a specific decision that I made that lead to the unsatisfactory results. When I think about why I made that decision in hindsight, I learn that it was because of the way I was thinking at the time. This is my business' limiting factor. Its me. I am the limiting factor. Specifically, the beliefs I have about myself.. Here are some examples of my beliefs. My belief that I'm too young to look experienced, I don't know anything that these other guys know, I can't see myself as a millionaire, I am foolish to be a poor entrepreneur, when I can live a comfortable life working for others with my professional qualifications. All of these things point to a single, deeply ingrained thought; the belief that I can't be incredibly successful. As I conquer these things that hold me back, I discover most of them were not even true.

    Most race whining, and probably all problems for a rookie pickup artist comes from their deeply ingrained beliefs about themselves. Most Asian Americans and other Asians who were raised in other western countries have this fairly universal limiting belief. They grow up exposed to social stereotypes about them, and how they are constantly treated as an outsider. They see it on TV, and people, specifically girls, don't see you as a sexual being. This reinforces the Asian-American man's mind, and it keeps being reinforced. They form their own limiting factor, which makes it even more difficult for them to meet sexual partners from another race.

    Why race whining is bad

    This kind of limiting belief is very problematic. It affects every part of your decision making, and swims in your subconscious thought (I don't mean that in a strictly scientific sense) and affects every bit about yourself. Worst of all, continuously blaming your race and the society you are in will further reinforce your limiting belief. You will continue to come off as a asexual person, and probably more and more jaded and prude.

    Why you shouldn't worry about your race

    There is a thread going on about user Rocky, a Srik Lankan, shorter than average man living in Toronto, boasting about how he has been with 13 women. Which is way more than most non-community men. Sure, the thread is a bit self-serving but that is besides the point. I am truly happy for Rocky, and even happier that there is another example of an Asian man who has had much success with women from other races. I personally know a few Asian guys who are good with women, and one also happens to be 'in the community.' Out of all the guys I personally know, only one of them can be considered good looking. There are some well known Asian PUA's as well. So we know that it is definitely possible for Asian men to sleep with beautiful white girls.

    Even if you have no idea how to systematically improve your game, or are relatively inexperienced with girls, you can get laid. You'll almost always be someone's type. Sometimes being Asian is enough to be that type. There are women out there who is dying to be with an Asian guy. I'm a few women's first Asian. Think of all the weabos and non-Asian Anime fans, girls who go to comic con, and call their elders senpais and shit. I've noticed among these chicks, a much higher percentage of girls want to be with an Asian guy, if they aren't with one already. Yeah, that kinda bothers me too (somewhat cultural appropriation) but who cares? A cute chick is a cute chick.

    Secondly, in the context of PUA, the stereotypes and negative perceptions non Asian girls (or very westernized Asian girls.. for example, Asian girl adopted by white families) have about you is incredibly superficial,and easy to overcome. Sure, there are some ignorant chicks who really can't get over the fact that a 'Chinese' guy is talking to you and actually thinks that they can get with you. But the vast majority of girls perception of Asian guys go away if you present yourself well. So if you have your game together, you are as attractive any white guy who has the same specifications and credentials as you. Actually, I personally believe that being Asian, or another minority can and often does work in your favor. Because of Asian men's limiting beliefs, it is not normal for most girls to have been approached by a charming Asian guy. Once you get past the stereotype, and believe me, that part is easy, you're a new experience. You're different. You're exotic. (well, at least to a lot girls. Obviously it won't be for everyone) Incidentally, this is also why white guys think being white is a disadvantage, even though statistically, it isn't.

    Third, society itself is changing. More and more Asian men, especially Korean men, are on TV. Sometimes playing a stereotypical role, and most often not. Quite frequently, an attractive male character. Think of Walking Dead, Fast and the Furious, Lost, etc. Even Jet Li is included in this category. Economics is changing. Perception of a race is very closely tied to economics. Korea, Japan, China, Taiwan, Singapore, are all economic powerhouses now and they just keep growing. Asian men are less and less seen as sexually undesirable.

    Lastly, whether you are Asian, black, hispanic, white, foreign, or whatever, women are not biologically wired to reject certain races. In fact, they are wired to seek out diversity, just like men are. Genetic mixing is good for the species. In East Asia high cheekbones are considered unattractive and too mongolian. They want to look more white. While in the US girls almost universally wish they had more cheekbones. This is why we find foreign accents, dark skins, different facial features exotic and attractive. Make it work in your favor.

    How do I get over my limiting belief?

    I don't know if there are alternative methods out there. But I personally overcome my limiting beliefs by simply going out in the field, and proving myself wrong until I can do it over and over again. I put a lot of conscious effort into it. As my success rate (whether it be getting laid, making more sales, increasing my sparring intensity) goes up, I reinforce my anti-limiting belief, and sooner or later it becomes my reality. Simple as that.


    The important thing to remember is, being Asian (or any other minority) isn't what is preventing you from getting laid as much as you want. Nor is it society's fault. In fact, even if you are white, you probably have limiting beliefs too. Your height. Your looks. Regardless of what your limiting belief is, the only way to overcome it is to start doing things to reinforce your anti-limiting belief. You obviously cannot change the fact that you're short, or the fact that you are Asian. But you can change the fact that it limits you. If you approach it with dedication, you will overcome your limiting beliefs.

    Don't be afraid to find out bad things about yourself. I know it can be frightening to some people to discover you are not as good as you are, but it is what separates successful people from those who are not. Successful people are constantly doing it, inviting failures, accepting challenges. I think its very healthy to have the mindset that your problems come from you, not society, not the economy, and not the politicians.

    Side note: Other Limiting Beliefs

    As an immigrant, I wasn't exposed to the same environment that 2nd generation Asian Americans were exposed to. So my belief that girls didn't like me because I was Asian was easily conquered. But I still have another limiting belief that affects me to this day. I believe most Asian Americans will have share this belief with me.

    I went to a hardcore party college with girls outnumbering men by 3:2. And I only got laid twice. I had already rejected my race whining LB, and I was in incredible shape, and had average social skills. In high schools chicks either thought I was cute or was the bad boy they were very curious about. I still didn't get laid. I couldn't figure out why then, but now it is as clear as day that it was because sex was culturally discouraged in my culture. No one talked about it when I was growing up. To this day, somewhere in my mind, sex, especially lots of sex with lots of partners, is still equated to lewdness, lack of morals, instability, and other negative associations. It still creates difficulty when I'm trying to be sexual with women, especially with women much more experienced than I am. Basically, I'm too much of your mom's favorite boyfriend, in a bad way.

    A lot of East Asian culture, especially those with a lot of Confucian influence pretty much discourage liberated sex. Since Asian-Americans tend to have preserved much of their culture, I think many Asians will share this limiting belief. But then again, I'm sure a lot of white guys do too.

    Related reading
    Last edited by FRwestk; 12-11-2013, 08:31 AM.

  • #2
    I don't actually rank it in my head, just what studies have shown. I agree, its meaningless. Just get out there. You'r white or white looking, or you're not. Just like you're tall or you're not. None of its a that bad of a limiting factor, its just in people's minds.

    I really intended this post to help minorities who think 1. ALL/most white women aren't into them because they're Asian/Black/Arab/Purple whatever. Because that is simply not the case, it is just in their heads.


    • #3
      FRwestk, thank you for the great post. It's always inspiring to hear success stories from a fellow East or South Asian!

      Just a few questions:

      • 1) How tall are you?
      • 2) Where do you live?
      • 3) Were the girls you laid this year (all outside your race) from cold approach pickup? Day game? Night game? Online? Social circle?
      • 4) How old were the girls?
      • 5) How would you rank them in attractiveness (objectively) - average/above average/below average? Were any fat?


      • #4
        Originally posted by Rocky View Post
        FRwestk, thank you for the great post. It's always inspiring to hear success stories from a fellow East or South Asian!

        Just a few questions:

        • 1) How tall are you?
        • 2) Where do you live?
        • 3) Were the girls you laid this year (all outside your race) from cold approach pickup? Day game? Night game? Online? Social circle?
        • 4) How old were the girls?
        • 5) How would you rank them in attractiveness (objectively) - average/above average/below average? Were any fat?
        1. 5' 9" (Approx 175cm)
        2. Central Florida
        3. 2 from cold approach, 3 online Cold approaches from night game
        4. Strangely all were 22-24, with one being 27 (now 28..same age as me)
        5. The girls were 6.5-7's. None of them were fat, but strangely were skinny though, which is my type.

        I'm not trying to make this post 'yay good job fellow Asian *high five*' but more like