Ad

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Becoming Alpha

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Becoming Alpha

    I need advice on becoming more alpha. Title is kinda self-explanatory like that. Any advice would be useful but I guess any for improving body language and tone of voice would be helpful. I think I need to change my humor too. I'm a pretty funny guy and tell a lot of jokes it's just sometimes I think my jokes might come off as too beta. Any advice would be welcome though.
    P.S. In my current circle of friends I'm not very alpha. I'm not really disrespected but not dominant either. Is there something I could do to change this or should I just leave for a while and come back more alpha?

  • #2
    I think working on downsizing your ego helps. I don't recommend this route but getting very good at fighting (through training, silly, not picking fights) makes you auto-alpha in many circles. gahahha. Okay, in more seriousness

    My father is a very natural alpha and this is what he taught me. No particular order. I wasn't. When I was a kid, I was just a meek, introverted kid who just wanted to be by himself. I have pretty much lived my whole life trying to be more like my father.

    1. own up to your responsibilities
    3. be in shape. be physically strong
    4. help others.
    5. don't be afraid to have others do things for you, as long as you help them back (reciprocal)
    6. think before you speak (I suck at this)
    7. take care of those important to you
    8. stay calm. things can and will be a lot worse.

    Some other things I picked up on my own
    1. Body Language
    2. Be there for your friends. Not like eager-bunny but be someone who is 'down' to do random shit when your friends need it
    3. Don't always be there for your friends. By that I mean have a busy enough life that you actually can't.
    4. stay calm. things can and will be a lot worse. if you fold now, how can you lead others.
    5. don't be needy. for both male friends and women.
    6. independence should be a very high priority for you. Both emotionally and financially.
    7. be very good at something
    8. be loyal. expect loyalty.
    9. accomplish many things. little or big.
    10. be daring.

    Some other things I've seen work, but things I don't do
    1. buy your friends stuff all the time
    2. have a job that gives you actual authority


    I think a lot of it is basically, be that guy who will be strong when others are weak.

    This sounds dumb but if you haven't, watch godfather 1 and 2. Its actually a recommended rite-of-passage movie for young men where I grew up. Silly.

    Comment


    • #3
      Don't ever dominate friends. They're friends. It's enough that you don't tolerate shit and stand up for them when you must. Respect is a thing earned, and you'll never have that if you go around dominating people left and right. Fear, maybe, but not respect. The more respect you have, the more willing these people will be to go trough hell and high water with you. You won't get that with fear. It kind of goes like this: The more power you have, the less you'll actually have to use it to get what you want.

      "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."
      - Henry Kissinger
      Look, wanting to dominate somebody is usually a sign of feeling inferiour. And feeling inferiour is the opposite of being alpha. Alphaness is not born out of insecurity; the need compensate is, and women can smell that kind of thing. She's a finely tuned creature evolved to smell a real alpha from a distance, and then give up her uterus to him. Alpha's don't compensate. So an alpha doesn't really need to do much of anything, except accept or deny the women willingly opening up to him.

      It is however quite another thing to be pro-active, assertive and not least taking responsibility - all traits of an alpha. If you want to learn about real power, join a political organization. At some point everything you do, you do because someone more powerful lets you do it. Thus gaining certain people's trust is as important as having power yourself. In fact, having people's trust (e.g. your friend's trust) is the thing that gives you power, and the thing that makes you alpha. Without it you're just another wannabe. So begin by treating your friends nicely, but be their leader at the same time. You do this by being the guy that invites them to the party, and by being the guy who hooks them up with [insert X]. I'm not saying you should be their slave. Just be the guy making things happen.

      Oh, and The Godfather is nothing close to silly. Strange thing, but it actually reminds me of my own family. They're into import/export too.

      Comment


      • #4
        Great advice and I'll use it all. I've been looking into mythology and spirituality recently. Would that count as something that would downsize my ego? The reason why I used the term dominant was I've seen places where the two terms are used interchangeably, but looking over my post I can see how I can come off as a bit of an insecure, power-hungry prick. I've been trying to work on my voice but it's pretty monotone. If anyone has any advice for that, or just in general, I would love it and be grateful.

        Comment


        • #5
          Domination is for women. They usually respond well to that sort of thing when you show absolutely no insecurity in what you're expecting out of her. (Clams up their underwear). This is where it's handy to be secure in your position as a leader. If you can do that, I promise she'll follow you anywhere - including the bathroom for a quickie or a BJ.

          Comment


          • #6
            Generally speaking, in a social circle its pretty hard to change your already established status. Thats because people HATE inconsistency, so when they put you in the box of that "funny, harmless dude", they want you to stay there. Note that this happens not out of bad intentions, thats just how humans are. If it happens, it happens veeery slowly (because if you try to step up too much, they will kick you back where they believe you belong, but you can take baby steps in the right direction).

            I'd look for new social connections, while at the same time keep hanging out with your old group and just slowly bring value to the group but don't expect too much in return. The more outcome-independent you become in terms of their validation, the more you will naturally act more alpha without even thinking about it (like when you have many gf's you will naturally be a bit more aloof, cooler with each one of them than if you had only one gf)

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by animal View Post
              Generally speaking, in a social circle its pretty hard to change your already established status. Thats because people HATE inconsistency, so when they put you in the box of that "funny, harmless dude", they want you to stay there. Note that this happens not out of bad intentions, thats just how humans are. If it happens, it happens veeery slowly (because if you try to step up too much, they will kick you back where they believe you belong, but you can take baby steps in the right direction).

              I'd look for new social connections, while at the same time keep hanging out with your old group and just slowly bring value to the group but don't expect too much in return. The more outcome-independent you become in terms of their validation, the more you will naturally act more alpha without even thinking about it (like when you have many gf's you will naturally be a bit more aloof, cooler with each one of them than if you had only one gf)
              Great advice! I have they same experience. In my old social circle I'm more "beta", while I'm more "alpha" in my new one. It's not easy to rise in the social hierarchy if you've been close to bottom for a while.

              Comment


              • #8
                Do martial arts. Getting in fights raises your testosterone.

                Find a mission that's more important to you than any woman.

                Enjoy your life.

                Comment


                • #9
                  This is largely a conditional thing. It's something that develops over time. For instance, if you were not "alpha" in high school/college, and don't have experience being that guy, there's no quick fix to suddenly become the alpha dog. I actually can't stand the term because it's so overused. And a lot of times guys (who naturally are not that guy) google/research "how to be an alpha male" online, they try to follow the advice but it's just not them. It's not congruent to who they actually are.

                  The only thing you can really do is work on yourself to being the strongest man (both mentally and physically) you can be. I think animal and FRwestk had good explanations.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by donkaktus View Post
                    Do martial arts. Getting in fights raises your testosterone.

                    Find a mission that's more important to you than any woman.

                    Enjoy your life.
                    the funny thing is, most really serious practitioners who actually learn a fighting art (as opposed to bullshit look cool feel good stuff) are strange, introverted guys. I'm probably on the extreme end of the bell curve when it comes to being social. Most of them aren't really alphas (hard to be one when people have trouble connecting with you), but people tend to auto-alpha them to a certain extent. I don't know what about fighting draws weirdos like myself. (yes, I'm totally generalizing here. lots and lots of exceptions) (please note I'm not saying being introverted means you can't be alpha)

                    But yes, if you're a fairly normal, cool dude, getting good at martial arts will boost your confidence like no other. It will take a long time, so stick with it. (like PUA). The biggest thing you'll learn is probably the fact that it takes dedication to become proficient at something that most people suck at (once again, like PUA), and having learned it in itself is a huge confidence booster. You'll gain some weight behind your eyes.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      - Self respect. Value yourself, and value your own opinion of yourself more than anyone else's
                      - Know what you value. What are the values you really stand for? What are the lines you won't allow people to cross?
                      - Know what you want. What are you aiming for? Are you going after something that will challenge you?
                      - Be a leader. Don't just take what your given and do what you're told. Step up. Take charge of your life.

                      - Get physically strong
                      - Learn how to take, and throw, a punch

                      - Relax and walk through life with a sense of ease and humor

                      RickH nailed it a decade ago in videos 1 and 4 of this series http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xXhk...A2A35C4023FEBF

                      Deeper voice... the incomparable Elliott Hulse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P41ER1Wmkj0
                      Last edited by Escal8Her; 02-20-2014, 05:23 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ever watch the Dog Whisperer? Even though the concepts revolve around dogs, I find that they can be pretty
                        applicable to real life as well. Take a look and see if it helps.

                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmGKtby43Oc

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I think that due to the roissy and roosh influence over the past few years that a lot of aspiring puas have gotten too obsessed with becoming 'alpha'. There's obvious benefits to this but to be successful with women you really just have to be high value and master of your own reality.

                          Boy bands, emo kids, artists, Michael Cera, Russell Brand, Style etc. are not really what we would normally consider alpha at all but they own their shit so they get the girls. Don't worry too much about being alpha--I'd recommend RSD's blueprint if you want the (very) long explanation of this.

                          Comment

                          Working...
                          X