Hey guys, just wanted to post an intro to try and get to my 5 post quota. I really just want to post my situation and question to the relationships section, but I suppose I can post it here in the meantime.
I am a 31 y/o male from Kansas in a monogamous marriage it a 28 y/o woman for 4 years, together 7 years. I didn't really discover BD's stuff until it was "too late" and I wouldn't have gotten legally married haha. We are about to have our first kid, due in less than 2 weeks, so that's a BIG change as well.
I would say I pretty much have the "perfect" marriage besides the whole monogamous part. If I could unlock that, I would consider it the "perfect" marriage. She gives me basically no drama, and there has been none even during the whole pregnancy. The VERY few times it has happened she apologizes after or it is indeed something I did wrong. I am also VERY fortunate to have set the proper frame by chance when we started getting serious that I will basically "do whatever I want when I want". I am able to travel wherever I want, go out anytime, and am basically 100% free. For example I went on the Groove Cruise with my brother because she doesn't like EDM. How many wives would let their husbands do that?
I can have sex with her whenever I want - I can probably count on one hand the times she has refused due to non-medical reasons in the past 7 years. That said, we end up doing it about 2-3 times a week on average. I would say I have a "normal" or maybe even below-average sex drive - especially compared to most of you on here I'm sure.
I guess my question is how should I go about opening up my marriage? I have read BD's book on how to convert to an open marriage, but one of the key points is you have to be willing to divorce over this issue - it is a non-negotiable. I guess to me, it IS negotiable at this point because I am not willing to throw away my near-perfect marriage over this issue........yet. I have introduced it once and it did not go over well for obvious reasons - we are monogamously married and she couldn't believe I would even consider something like that. Which is true, I married and committed to her only to discover this possibility after the fact. I should not have an expectation for her to change since that is not what she signed up for and I can't force her into it since she will resent me.
I think my only chance is to introduce her to the possibility again and just keep it in her mind. I just got the book Sex at Dawn and could start a discussion about it once I read it. Also one of her best friends is bisexual and in an open marriage (basically swinger type) and I already talked to her and I'm sure she'd be very supportive in open discussions with my wife. I will also say I have had the ability to cheat in my travels several times, but have remained 100% faithful, which I think will be very helpful in this matter. Any thoughts on the matter is appreciated!
I am a 31 y/o male from Kansas in a monogamous marriage it a 28 y/o woman for 4 years, together 7 years. I didn't really discover BD's stuff until it was "too late" and I wouldn't have gotten legally married haha. We are about to have our first kid, due in less than 2 weeks, so that's a BIG change as well.
I would say I pretty much have the "perfect" marriage besides the whole monogamous part. If I could unlock that, I would consider it the "perfect" marriage. She gives me basically no drama, and there has been none even during the whole pregnancy. The VERY few times it has happened she apologizes after or it is indeed something I did wrong. I am also VERY fortunate to have set the proper frame by chance when we started getting serious that I will basically "do whatever I want when I want". I am able to travel wherever I want, go out anytime, and am basically 100% free. For example I went on the Groove Cruise with my brother because she doesn't like EDM. How many wives would let their husbands do that?

I guess my question is how should I go about opening up my marriage? I have read BD's book on how to convert to an open marriage, but one of the key points is you have to be willing to divorce over this issue - it is a non-negotiable. I guess to me, it IS negotiable at this point because I am not willing to throw away my near-perfect marriage over this issue........yet. I have introduced it once and it did not go over well for obvious reasons - we are monogamously married and she couldn't believe I would even consider something like that. Which is true, I married and committed to her only to discover this possibility after the fact. I should not have an expectation for her to change since that is not what she signed up for and I can't force her into it since she will resent me.
I think my only chance is to introduce her to the possibility again and just keep it in her mind. I just got the book Sex at Dawn and could start a discussion about it once I read it. Also one of her best friends is bisexual and in an open marriage (basically swinger type) and I already talked to her and I'm sure she'd be very supportive in open discussions with my wife. I will also say I have had the ability to cheat in my travels several times, but have remained 100% faithful, which I think will be very helpful in this matter. Any thoughts on the matter is appreciated!

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