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Voluntas - restarting the voyage

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  • Voluntas - restarting the voyage

    Hi guys.

    So, I thought a "short" intro would be in order before I start posting on these forums.

    Throughout my history with women I have always been acting as a shy, introvert "nice guy". Luckily I have been born with fairly good looks, so I haven't had an actual lack of women in my life. Though a massive lack of "quality women" - the women and experiences (including sexual of course) that I really wanted. They were selecting me and I wasn't selecting them. I was getting caught up in abusive LTRs and couldn't get myself to use the word: NO. Acting like a typical beta AFC.

    Re-winding roughly 4 years back: I had just exited a 4-year LTR (typical recipe: We were living together in a rented bungalow, kids were a big topic, shared same social circle with the same slow-lane life mentality). Even though the passion in our relationship quickly died, we were very good at mentoring each other, and thus I got a boost in self-esteem, both personally and career-wise. I was able to take more chances in my career and made massive progress in my personal development. This rise in self-esteem also lead to me breaking it up..

    Shortly after, I started dating another girl. I was initially quite happy with her, but things got quite complicated, as she was good friends with my ex-LTR. We continued seeing each other secretly. Long story short, this lead to an emotionally abusive relationship lasting over 2 years (we were both the culprit - using each other for our own different selfish wishes).

    Probably the main reason for us sticking together, was that we evolved together sexually to other levels that I didn't think was possible at the time. We were trying new things in- and outside the bedroom, and the passion, tension, lust and desire between us was something that neither of us had experienced before. I was evolving more sexually and emotionally during this intense 2-year period at the end of my 20's/start 30's than I had done in my entire teens and 20's combined. It was because of this relationship that I decided I HAD to explore what else was possible.

    The relationship ended and I was determined to start my voyage. But where on earth to start? And how do I get to meet these women? My pick-up skills were absolutely non-existent - I only remember picking up maybe 3 girls so far (all the other times, I had been picked up). I scanned many different forums, read some literature, but procrastinated on taking action until a little over a year ago. My journey started...

    A very short resume of this voyage so far: I came to a point where I thought it was now or never. I used very basic skills, mostly taken from "The Game", and was quite amazed with what could be done with so little. I combined this with tips from this forum and others. Lays started rolling in (even though most were 6s, occasional 7-8) until an 8.5 came along, that I started getting oneitis for. Blew that up, but continued seeing her as a friend/mentor/FB, while also having a couple other FBs and occasional ONS'.

    Well, oneitis struck once again (with the same 8.5) as she wanted to start a mono relationship. I agreed out of fear of not being able to do better, and she quickly started her betarizing mission which I didn't handle well to say the least. And here I am, on the other side…

    The positives are that I have experience on what NOT to do, and have also done some field-testing on what can and can't be done to get around the situation. The negative is that I now feel like I am almost back to square one. The betarized AFC, that I started off being. I have though already seen what can be done, and I need to get the ball rolling once again. It is awfully tough to get the rust off though...

    On top of this, I recently took a drastic career change from being self-employed to now being a student, but in the process losing the sense of having a purpose. Even though it is for the better, I can't seem to adapt to the change of identity. I have also during this short mono-relationship and my career shift become a lot more introverted, and have adapted a kind of social fear, which I need to get rid of fast.

    Summarized challenges:
    - Work on all seduction skills - Weakest: Opening, night-game. Strongest: Building attraction on date.
    - Work on my inner-game in general - be the best version of myself and get over my continuing oneitis.
    - Get rid of the social fear - shatter my ego, get out of my comfort zone.
    - Find my purpose career-wise.

    Anyway, I can't wait to be an active part of this community, as I have already gotten a lot of useful information and tips over the last year's time. Thank you guys for this so far. I also plan on creating an extended journal of my journey so far, so keep an eye out if interested.

    Okay, the "short" first post got pretty lengthy. Thanks for reading and kudos, if you have gotten this far.

  • #2
    First of all, welcome!
    Second, I don't know how anyone else missed your intro post (maybe changing the title description to INTRO would help LOL).
    Your issues seem common, but remember: you're young and entering your prime as a man.
    Also most guys look for places like this in their late 30s early 40s (especially after a divorce or bad break-up), and still manage to change their lives for the better.
    Just keep asking and posting and you'll be good.



    • #3
      Just wanted to say hi and welcome. I am also new here and could relate to a lot of what you posted, including the two year abusive relationship with lots of exciting sex. Had one of those. I also read and tested what I learned here for a while before posting myself. I am glad to have others walking the road with me. I get excited by the possibilities ahead. Things are already changing for the better.


      • #4
        Hey man welcome!

        From the sound of it, you already know where you're at and know the direction you want to go. And you already have a decent skill base built up. Looking forward to your journal and contributions.

        I can empathize with your student situation, although not self-employment. I'm contemplating the school plunge as well.

        This is a pretty supportive community even if it looks like there's random scuffles here and there. It's definitely helped me take a little more focused control of myself and goals.

        Good luck out there!