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  • #76
    Teevster's Opener 4/100

    Saw a hot babe in yoga pants and followed her ass down an aisle. Just my luck, she stopped at the tampons and began looking for a pack. Oh well, too late now...

    Opened.

    She DIHL and then went back to picking a box rather hurriedly.

    I'm like "how are you?"

    she's like "good"

    I'm like "WHO are you?"

    she gives me her name and comes back to me (still DIHL), shakes my hand. I milk it. I then ask her what's up (I know I know, but it's so hard to just say random shit. CAN you say random shit without looking like a social retard?!) she then keeps looking for something else, her movements are fast like she's in a hurry.

    I say "Are you new here?" she says yes, still DIHL.

    I'm like "I KNEW it, where are you from?"? she says "mexico"

    Anyhow, we chat for a bit but I eventually run out of things to say and she's not really contributing (all one or four word answers), I say "wanna grab a drink?"

    "no, but thanks"

    anyhow, that was it.

    Comment


    • #77
      Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
      Saw a hot babe in yoga pants and followed her ass down an aisle. Just my luck, she stopped at the tampons and began looking for a pack.
      How was your body language when you delivered your opener? Were you facing her completely? Over the shoulder?

      Another question that's probably more important, what are you ideas for conversation between the opener and asking her out?

      Comment


      • #78
        Originally posted by Bacchus View Post
        How was your body language when you delivered your opener? Were you facing her completely? Over the shoulder?
        Both I guess. I was facing her but was from behind. She adjusted her BL to include me after we shook hands.

        Originally posted by Bacchus View Post
        Another question that's probably more important, what are you ideas for conversation between the opener and asking her out?
        Well I'd like to do your game tbh. So, talk about adventure, get her in the mood for a spontaneous sexual encounter.

        Other than that, no real ideas. I'd also like to be random like ijjjji suggests but I'm finding it hard to be random without being socially retarded lol.

        Comment


        • #79
          Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
          Both I guess. I was facing her but was from behind. She adjusted her BL to include me after we shook hands.
          In the future, avoid approaching full-frontal. There's a good chance it causes some form of defensiveness.

          Instead hover from the side, so you're both facing the same direction and go over the shoulder. As for what to talk about, avoid asking questions that inspire no conversation such as "what's up" & "how are you." Some alternative questions you could ask are: "Say you won the lottery... and could go anywhere in the world... where would you go?" "what's something you do that you really enjoy?" "what do you do for work (then) is that what you want to do forever?"

          Try out the body-language adjustment as well as the verbal specifics and see if it brings any improvement to your interactions.

          Comment


          • #80
            Originally posted by Bacchus View Post
            In the future, avoid approaching full-frontal. There's a good chance it causes some form of defensiveness.

            Instead hover from the side, so you're both facing the same direction and go over the shoulder. As for what to talk about, avoid asking questions that inspire no conversation such as "what's up" & "how are you." Some alternative questions you could ask are: "Say you won the lottery... and could go anywhere in the world... where would you go?" "what's something you do that you really enjoy?" "what do you do for work (then) is that what you want to do forever?"

            Try out the body-language adjustment as well as the verbal specifics and see if it brings any improvement to your interactions.
            Thanks Bacchus. I'll give that a try.

            What do you recommend for when a girl gets deep on you? Playfully change the subject or hang in there? I had a date tonight and we got into some dark shit about her past. I tried to relate to her with my own dark shit because I didn't want to be insensitive and just change the subject. I found it hard to return to the fun, flirty vibe we had at the beginning of the night however.

            In fact, here's a summary of the date for you guys:

            Short version: we kissed a bit, but nothing major. I dropped her off near her house but not at her house. >>


            The Good:

            - Lots of laughing. She found the way I said "south" funny. Hilarious even. She is russian
            - Touched her on the back quite a bit on the date
            - Talked about her paying to take me to argentina, costa rica, hawaii
            - In the car on the way to her place she asked me what time was good for me tomorrow (sounds good but you'll see why I'm not optimistic in a moment)
            - Touched her on her leg in the car but I'm not optimistic (see above)
            - She said I was cute, many times
            - On the way back to my car I had my arm around her. She seemed to snuggle into me, and I pulled her hand around me and she grabbed onto me quite firmly
            - Kissed her before we got in the car but she didn't make out and gave me the cheek after 2 pecks
            - In the car as she was about to get out, she opened her arms for a hug. We hugged. She then looked into my eyes and we kissed a few more times but nothing tongue. I know I should have kept my restraint but it was hard.


            The Neutral (i.e. I don't know if it's good or bad)
            - She went to the bathroom midway in our date
            - We talked about some deep, dark topics. She's had a crazy life. I tried to empathize with my own dark secrets. We bonded I think.
            - Told me she had a nice time
            - Thanked me for the date but, I mean, I drove her home. She could just be being polite.

            The Bad:

            - Hasn't texted me saying she had a "nice time" like milf did
            - Kissed me a bit unenthusiastically
            - Had her arms crossed for most of the night

            Comment


            • #81
              Ok, tried Bacchus' suggestion on a hot Brazillian babe in Walmart (walmart is turning into the best place to approach chicks for me lol!)

              Saw the girl, hovered near her. She walked away to another aisle still within eyesight of me.

              After a while I went slowly to her aisle and began looking at the baskets there. After a few moments I looked at her and said "hi"

              She smiles and says "hi" back.

              I look at the baskets more and put the one I'm holding back, then I say "enjoying your night?"

              She smiles "yes. Just browsing in walmart" (she was smiling the whole time we talked, but also had crossed arms, solid EC as well)

              I'm like "me too. where are you from?"

              she says "brazil"

              I'm like "oh cool! I've always wanted to go to brazil"

              she says "yeah it's really nice there"

              I'm like "do you live here now or are you visiting?"

              she says "no I'm hoping to get my green card, then I can stay"

              I'm like "oh that's cool. do you have to work for it or take school or soemthing?"

              she goes "no, my husband is helping me get it" (now, I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger... lol)

              I'm like "right on. so have you done a lot of travelling?"

              she says "in canada?"

              I'm like "no, the world"

              she goes "oh yes! I have travelled all over. america, mexico, europe. you?"

              I say "yeah I've travelled all over america, that's it tho. I want to go to europe"

              and she says "ah but I think america and mexico are better than europe"

              I'm like "how come?"

              "europe is boring"

              "really?"

              "yes. it's fine if you like culture or buildings-"

              I cut her off "but it's not very adventurous"

              "Yes! exactly!"

              "so if you could take me anywhere, where would it be?"

              "hmmm... probably mexico... or brazil"

              "Ah! I'd LOVE to go to brazil. where in brazil would you take me?"

              she starts talking a lot about different towens and rio and stuff. to be honest I kind of zoned out lol, but she did mention beaches and secluded beaches, which is where I should have made things sexual but I didn't.

              she says "the beaches are really good in rio but I prefer [some other town] because they are more quiet"

              "and secluded?"

              "yes"

              "secluded is good" (I wanted to make a reference to her getting nude in a secluded beach but didn't. fear I guess"

              Anyhow at the point she was talking a lot and I was kind of getting lost in the convo. I introduced myself and we shook hands and I held hers. then I asked if she wanted to grab a drink

              she laughed "no, I can't! My husband is here" (I didn't know if she meant the store or the city. should have asked for clarity I guess)

              then I'm like "oh but I thought you brazillians were supposed to be more liberated than that!"

              she laughs "no, no that is what people thinkj but we are not blah blah"

              So I'm like "well that's too bad. I thought you were cute but you're not adventurous" then I leave, she thanks me. bleh. Kind of shitty ending.

              I was trying to do Teevster's thing where he qualifies them sexually but it was a mess and poorly executed. Plus, if I'm going to do that I should stay in set instead of mention it as I leave.

              Anyhow, that was it. I see I still haven't gotten convos down yet but this one went a lot better than most. She was definitely open to talking to me, just not open with her arms, although a few times when gesturing she did have her arms spread out.

              Comment


              • #82
                Walmart "Too Cool For You" Bitch

                Ok so today I approached a solid 8. Just my kind of trashy bitch girl. Very hot. Nice huge ass but still slim.

                Went in with the hover. convo was easy and laid back. She was in a "I'm too cool for this" vibe but she gave me a solid ioi at one point where she put down all her items (lots) and faced me fully, and used both arms to flick her hair back exposing her neck, armpits, breasts, and wrists all in one. Solid.

                Anyhow, as we talked I did the whole "where would you take me?" routine. She was coy and said "nah, I don't take guys anywhere" and I'm like "ouch. that's not cool. not cool at all" and she laughs saying "no, I'm just joking" blah blah anyhow we talk a bit more and a guy comes and starts hovering around us. My only thought was that it was her BF but the guy was so timid and stood just DIHL of me that I figured I was definitely more "alpha".

                Anyhow, I went for the drink close and she's like "nah, I'm not in the right headspace for it tonight": I countered saying "all the more reason to get a drink!" and she laughed saying "nah, I can't blah blah" (really playing up her "I'm too cool" thing)

                So I'm like "ok well give me your number then. she says "nah I'll take your number"

                I'm like "no you won't. I don't give out my number. so what's yours?"

                She goes "nbah blah blah" so I'm like "ok, have a good night." and walk away.

                I think the BF was the issue tbh. Other than that can't see too much that went wrong. She definitely seemed to like me a bit. at some points she came close to me, even put her items on the shelf in front of me in such a way that her head was near my crotch.

                So yeah, any advice/thoughts?

                Comment


                • #83
                  Why didn't you just give her your number? I was in that exact situation once – she wouldn't give me her number, but asked for mine. I complied, and she texted me lthat night. (Long story short… I think she would've been willing to see me again, but I decided not to pursue. But I did get her number! )

                  Maybe you could make a joke of it "well OK, I'll give you my number,...as long as you promise not to stalk me and make me block your ass!"

                  Instead, you almost argued with her. It's good to lead the interaction, but a lot of your interactions seem to escalate into minor conflicts when things don't go exactly according to your script.

                  Granted, there's a good chance you would never have heard from her. But now, there is NO chance!

                  Everything else sounded good up to that point.

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Originally posted by No More Mr Nice Guy View Post
                    Why didn't you just give her your number? I was in that exact situation once – she wouldn't give me her number, but asked for mine. I complied, and she texted me lthat night. (Long story short… I think she would've been willing to see me again, but I decided not to pursue. But I did get her number! )

                    Maybe you could make a joke of it "well OK, I'll give you my number,...as long as you promise not to stalk me and make me block your ass!"

                    Instead, you almost argued with her. It's good to lead the interaction, but a lot of your interactions seem to escalate into minor conflicts when things don't go exactly according to your script.

                    Granted, there's a good chance you would never have heard from her. But now, there is NO chance!

                    Everything else sounded good up to that point.
                    Hmm, you're really challenging my views here (in a good way).

                    I thought being a "man" was one who a woman couldn't push around. That a man was in charge, and the woman followed, and that any attempts by a woman to get a man to alter his course was known as a "shit test". :/

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
                      Hmm, you're really challenging my views here (in a good way).

                      I thought being a "man" was one who a woman couldn't push around. That a man was in charge, and the woman followed, and that any attempts by a woman to get a man to alter his course was known as a "shit test". :/
                      I've never been a big fan of the whole alpha / dominance mindset so prevalent in the PUA community. I think Ijiii has said something similar . Maybe it's just not my personality, but there is a real risk of coming across as a domineering, pushy, insensitive asshole if not calibrated properly.

                      Maybe you would get better results by thinking in terms of self-confidence, self amusement, outcome independence , flexibility, and meeting people halfway.

                      After all, once you get through this particular sticking point, these behaviors will also help you in the later phases of the seduction process

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Originally posted by No More Mr Nice Guy View Post
                        I've never been a big fan of the whole alpha / dominance mindset so prevalent in the PUA community. I think Ijiii has said something similar . Maybe it's just not my personality, but there is a real risk of coming across as a domineering, pushy, insensitive asshole if not calibrated properly.

                        Maybe you would get better results by thinking in terms of self-confidence, self amusement, outcome independence , flexibility, and meeting people halfway.

                        After all, once you get through this particular sticking point, these behaviors will also help you in the later phases of the seduction process
                        Ha, I came on here right as you posted this!

                        This brings up the congruency issue for me yet again. I am naturally an asshole and do very much love to be dominant.

                        However, you could be right, BUT... \/

                        I've tried meeting girls halfway. Last night a girl texted me wanting to go for coffee. I was all like "sure, where, when etc" she ended up cutting off contact, so that didn't "work". Too eager I'm thinking. Even though if she would have been like "how bout now?" I would have had to say "I'm doing XYZ right now, how about later?" but she didn't, so I couldn't.

                        Sooo yeah.

                        Outcome independence I got too much of already. It keeps me from walking the line if you know what I mean.

                        Sure you don't want to be an asshole, but you don't want to be a needy eager-beaver either, and when IDGAF, I have both those come out in spades.

                        The main thing is that, because of last night's texts, I figured I need to set boundaries better and not be pushed around so much. Basically, I need to be congruent. Be an asshole or be a gentleman, but be congruent, am I right? Or am I still missing it?

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                          In my opinion, you played it very nicely by not giving your number out - I would have done exactly the same

                          This kind of "im the man" mentality is fine and will stand you in goodstead when you're getting really good at this

                          You're thinking about correctly by going for balance...so its all fine :P

                          Nice work
                          Thanks Impulse.

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Went out today but got hit with some fatigue and negativity, so came back home without approaching.

                            I'm hitting the same old belief: developing social skills (being "mutual" for example) is a BRIBE to get other people to like me. It's weird I know, but that's honestly how I see it.

                            Worse, is that when I decide to improve my social skills and actually "try" to have mutually beneficial conversations and interactions, I can tell that people feel my neediness and it turns them off.

                            What's even MORE perverse, is that when I'm NOT trying to have mutually beneficial interactions with people, things go a LOT better most of the time.

                            Definitely an issue.

                            The action of improving makes real the "problem".

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                              Interesting you say this..I think its a very good thing that your self-aware of this psychological thing and the feelings of neediness....because now you can get rid of it.

                              It tells me that psychologically a bit of work is needed. If you keep making actions from the wrong psychological point of view, it can exacerbate the problem if your not careful.

                              In very simple forms, your coming from a position of lack, which is reinforcing the lack. You need to change it into a position of abundance to attract abundance. And that will come from changes in your subconscious mind.

                              I used to have a similar thing with women, thinking I needed to get her to like me, and then buying into "using routines and lines" to get her to like me. Which is a definite form of neediness which would come across. Whereas the reality is, even if I am a boring fucker, she can still like me....

                              Whether people like someone or not isnt actually all up to those people. Its DNA, its history, its feelings, its brain function. People actually very rarely are in control of their actions and thoughts..those actions and thoughts originate from a different premise.

                              The way id personally handle your issue (from a psychological point of view) is to do a few mental exercises. 5-10 minutes a day should do it over time (and 20 mins max) - basically imagine you grew up being liked by other people and having normal conversation skills..and that it was easy and natural to be liked by other people. And that you had a social circle and had many friends to talk to. Also imagine that you have friends to talk to and they occasionally ask you to hang out.

                              Do this midday, and also do it directly before bed. The point of this is so it goes deeper into your subconscious mind. Do it every day.

                              The point of this is to give your subconscious mind new data to work with. So..when it comes to talking to people, your neediness will automatically disappear, because your having the conversation from a different psychological perspective

                              This is btw how I managed to transition into direct sexual game and see it as normal..before I couldnt see or have the balls to understand why it worked. But by giving my mind new data to work with, my whole brain interprets things different and then i end up doing different actions/behaviors

                              That might be a deeper reply than you expected, but brain stuff is what Im passionate about. Im 100% certain what im saying will solve your issue, ive been there many times before...


                              Hey man, I appreciate the reply. I also think it's awesome you're doing direrct sexual game (my end goal is to be sexually direct and PHYSICAL in DAYgame lol, no pressure, right?)

                              And you're definitely right about the psychological stuff in that if I keep coming from the wrong place, it will always go wrong.

                              I disagree about your solution tho, simply because I tried all that mind affirmation stuff before to no avail. It just doesn't work for me. Like I said, it just magnifies the problem. If I had good social skills, would I have to imagine having good social skills? Of course not. So doing so only magnifies the fact that I need to, does that make sense?

                              I think a lot of the solution is to simply stop trying to compensate for things.

                              I did some door-to-door today and a woman was like "are you tired?" I'm like "why? do I look tired?" she's like "yeah. has it been a long day?" and I was like "no, I just started... do I have bags under my eyes?" and made a joke out of it.

                              If I had been like "SHIT! I look tired, gotta fix it!" I would have made a problem out of nothing. How do I know it wasn't a problem? Because like a half hour later I was signing someone up and high-fiving him talking about random shit and everything.

                              Self acceptance (not self-augmentation) is the key.

                              It may also explain why when I was dating that milf, things went BAD only after I came on here and started "improving" my game. It's because I had a "problem" all of a sudden where before I just had my dick.

                              Anyhow, that is my current theory.

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                I hear you man. I really appreciate you being in my corner too.

                                I will take action but I need to do it in slowly (like turning up the heat, not turning on a light switch). Taking massive action always makes me get burned out and then I stay off game for months before doing a massive amount again. Plus, it's hard to improve if you try to improve everything, all at once.

                                Today I sent a bunch of messages online. Got 1 response, replied back and now nothing.

                                I didn't do any approaching today cause I'm exhausted, but I will tomorrow. Also, I have a girls number. I plan to text her tomorrow from a bar using ijjjji's game. Basically I'll just say "hey, I'm at xyz bar. you?" and see if she bites.

                                Yes, external game is needed because internal game is too easy for me. I spent most of my life alone and eventually developed thick skin, IDGAF mentality to everything including success. When you don't care how a woman perceives you even if it means you keep doing things that turn her off, it's not a healthy kind of IDGAF.

                                So that is where I'm at.

                                Hope I'm not dumping it on you, I'm not trying for sympathy or anything, you just seem to be interested so I think it will help you see where I'm coming from.

                                It's also why I have to focus on the things I do. Anyhow, don't mean to ramble.

                                Keep me accountable, and I'll keep giving this my all. I'm making some headway. I really believe that with a better body and constant game improvements, I'll get some good results soon.

                                There ARE some things I need to change in the external department, but I also have to understand the inner game behind it or it's emotionless. I find that everything needs emotion in it otherwise people don't respond.

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