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  • #61
    • Recent convo online has me wondering if cutting off contact is a good method of "punishment"

      In this convo, the girl wouldn't comply. Should I have negged/busted on her or was she simply a time waster and it's good I cut off contact?

      Or something else I'm not aware of?



      Yesterday - 1:29pm
      Me: Hey [name], you're really naturally pretty - I can tell. Anyway, nice to meet you, I'm sarge


    • Yesterday - 2:00pm
      Her: Thank you. Nice to meet you as well​

    • Me: yw. So how is your week going?


    • Yesterday - 11:45pm
      Her: It's alright so far, yours?​


    • Today - 10:03am
      Me: I get the week off work, so that's something.

    • Her: That's lucky, how did you manage that?​

    • Today - 10:33am
      Me: I bribed my boss of course! But hey, how bout you give me your number and I'll text you sometime


    • Today - 10:54am
      Her: Hmm I don't even know your name​


    • Today - 12:23pm
      Me: It's in the intro

    • Her: Definitely did not remember that, sorry ​

    Comment


    • #62
      Sarge no need to neg and I think you know that asking for number is kinda pointless..especially that early. Banter a bit playfully, when convo at a high point just either seed invite during convo or give her your number.

      Comment


      • #63
        Originally posted by Tagz View Post
        Sarge no need to neg and I think you know that asking for number is kinda pointless..especially that early. Banter a bit playfully, when convo at a high point just either seed invite during convo or give her your number.
        Well a guy I know who does well in online said 2-3 messages, then number. But I'll try what you suggest. Thanks.

        EDIT: Btw, if I'm not asking for the number... how does that work?

        Comment


        • #64
          More from online.

          I'm clearly striking out but why? I haven't a clue.

          • Today - 5:24pm
            Me: Hey [name], you're really naturally pretty - I can tell. Anyway, nice to meet you, I'm sarge
          • Today - 6:35pm
            Her: Awe thank you for that.
          • Her: your very handsome
          • Today - 7:43pm
            Me: yw, and I know, but thank you. Are you enjoying your evening?
          • Today - 8:02pm
            Her: yes very much
          • Her: im working
          • Her: and relaxing finishing up the last episodes of game of thrones
          • Me: working and watching GOT? how does that work?
          • Today - 8:22pm
            Her: Lol making a wig lol
          • Me: you make wigs and sell them?

            Wut, wut wut??

            I don't get what I'm supposed to be doing, or what I'm doing wrong. :/
          • EDIT: She responded and here are some more of our convo:
          • Yesterday - 10:51pm
            Her: starting
          • Yesterday - 11:10pm
            Me: I don't know if I believe you cause it sounds crazy
          • Today - 2:39pm
            Her: Lol i know right. but i do esthetics and hair, so nails , eye lash extensions, eyebrow/lash tinting, facial waxing, hair extensions and cutting, coloring. right now im making a dreadlock wig could see it on fv
          • Her: insta
          • Her: like the wig in my profile pic
          • Just now!
            Me: Oh, well that makes sense. That's actually pretty cool. Would love to talk to you more about this. What's your week look like? and are you really in [city 3 hours away Gaaaah! ]?
          • So, in line with my theory in the daygame thread, this is obviously showing that making conversation is far better than "gaming" a girl, at least for me. The problem is I don't want to be friend-zoned or boyfriend material'd.
          • I want to be Boyfriend POTENTIAL meaning she will sleep with me early but hope that I will fit the bill one day. GLL talks about it here: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/lai...n-fuck-buddies
          • Anyhow, I'm trying to juggle learning pick up with defining what I want while also balancing what I want with what is possible. So, as much as I'd like to just be cool enough to walk up to random married chicks and say "wanna fuck?" and have them spread their legs for me on the spot, that is not possible, but something like that is what I want, so I need to learn how to do that.
          • My thinking is I just need the right understanding to be able to impliment and succeed.
          • I'm more of a spontaneous/chaotic person. Even in sales, I do the best when I'm disorganized and forgetting people's names and numbers. Compare that to when I'm organized and "on the ball" I will continuously strike out. I think I'm just more congruent as a fuck up.
          • Anyhow, this is all just theory but it's making sense and there is certainly something to it.
          Last edited by SargeMaximus; 02-02-2017, 10:25 PM.

          Comment


          • #65
            • Yesterday - 8:13pm
              Me: Hey [name] you're really naturally pretty - I can tell. Anyway, nice to meet you, I'm sarge
            • Her: Thank you. You can call me just [real name]. Nice to meet u too ​
            • Yesterday - 8:58pm
              Me: N2MU [real name]. Enjoying the last of the weekend?
            • Her: Yes just chilling today. ​
            • Me: Yeah me too. do you work, go to school, both?
            • Her: No I work at [place] as a supervisor. It sounds boring but I enjoy it. You ? School ? Work ? ​
            • Me: I enjoy my work too but it doesn't pay much, so I'm doing an online course to give me options. How busy are you during the week btw?
            • Yesterday - 9:22pm
              Her: Pretty busy during the week. Especially this one. Heading to Dominican in a week so got lots last minute crap to do. ​
            • Me: oh shit, bad timing then I suppose

              So... what went wrong here guys? I have some thoughts but I need feedback otherwise I'm just shooting in the dark.
            • My thoughts are: too quick to want to meet (even though... isn't that the POINT of online dating?!)
            • and
            • Maybe instead of saying "oh shit, bad timing then I suppose" I could have said something else, though I don't know what. :/

            Comment


            • #66
              More from online. This one seemed to be going well, what did I do/say to wreck it?

              • Today - 6:54pm
                Me: Hey [name], you're really naturally pretty - I can tell. Anyway, nice to meet you, I'm Sarge
              • Today - 7:51pm
                Her: Hey Sarge I'm [real name] nice to cyber meet you lmaoo thankssss you're quite the catch yourself!
              • Me: Don't I know it [real name] So, are you enjoying your evening?
              • Her: I am.. it's always nice just hanging out at home.
              • Me: true, what you up to?
              • Her: Nothing really just being lazyyyy what brings you on this site
              • Me: I hear you. nothin much, gotta give you ladies a chance with me. what's your schedule like this week?
              • Her: Hahaha ooo damn! I love that sassiness. Hm I have school everyday
              • Me: Glad you can handle it. How about evenings?

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                Dude, there's a lot wrong with these convos.....

                Every time you say something, make sure you arent saying something that leads to a dead end

                You are saying things that doesn't give her any material to respond.

                Examples:

                Me: oh shit, bad timing then I suppose

                ^that is rubbish..dont say anything that gives her nothing to respond

                Which is why your conversations are falling flat

                Me: I get the week off work, so that's something.

                ^again, rubbish. how the fuck is she going to respond to that? its not playful , theres no banter, its not fun
                It was supposed to be relatable. >>


                Originally posted by Impulse View Post

                Also dont ask her questions like the way you are...its ruining your conversations, and your asking rubbish questions.

                examples:

                Me: you make wigs and sell them?

                ^never ask stupid-ass questions like this, why the fuck does it matter to you if she sells fuckin wigs or not??? thats not something anyone would respond to and immediately they would see something was off with your convo skills

                Last, dont say rude ass things. Your actually being rude as hell to a lot of women and acting like some dickhead to them

                Example:

                • Today - 10:33am
                  Me: I bribed my boss of course! But hey, how bout you give me your number and I'll text you sometime
                • Today - 10:54am
                  Her: Hmm I don't even know your name​
                • Today - 12:23pm
                  Me: It's in the intro
                • Her: Definitely did not remember that, sorry


                This is rude as fuck..saying your name is in the intro is you acting like some dickhead...she's not saying "I dont know your name" she is saying "Im being playful and saying I dont know your name..I want to know more" - you took it too literally

                Text conversation a lot of the time is playful banter and you shouldnt always take things so literally

                It seems you actually do lack basic conversation skills - with women anyway. With men you seem to be ok
                Yes, thank you for recognizing that.

                And ok, I need to not take things so literally and be more playful... I have no idea how to do that lol. I'm a literal guy, sorry to disappoint. :/


                Originally posted by Impulse View Post

                Other shitty pieces of crap that are ruining your convos:

                Me: You sure can! natural = not fake

                Your answering her too literally. She already knows natural = not fake...do you think she's stupid or something??? Your insulting her by writing this and she will think you are dumb
                She asked a stupid question, I gave her a stupid answer. I don't think there's a problem with that.


                Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                You could have said:

                "well, youve got a natural smile, it stands out"

                Her: Oh really! Thank you!

                You: I hope your not a dentist though, that'd mean your trouble :P (now your teasing her, its related to the smile)

                Her: haha, im a nurse actually

                You: Uh oh.. that still sounds like trouble to me :P..you know what they say about nurses right?

                Her: haha, no what?

                You: I better not tell you..its a secret..but maybe if we meet up i'll let you know :P (that is charged, its playful, its teasing, its you acting as the prize, she will want to know what the secret is, it is giving her a challenge)

                ^something a bit more playful is good instead of taking things so literally...your falling flat big time because of that

                DAFS on text game on this forum and successful online convos to see how theyre structured, it seems your making the most basic of mistakes here

                Id highly highly recommend you go to some online chat forums and practise holding a conversation with women there - keep doing this until your able to keep a conversation going properly, because right now I can see your mistakes like the full moon. If a conversation falls flat, its because youve made a big time mistake, and theres lots of big time mistakes here
                Ok, I'll try. A lot of this doesn't make sense to me at all, and again clashes with the "congruence" issue. I mean, I don't "tease" people like that or anything but I guess it's time to learn.

                Thanks for the tips.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                  "glad you can handle it" --- that is an arrogant statement and not required, she was already interested and you showed unnecessary arrogance

                  Because you already said "gotta give you ladies a chance with me" so you've already been a bit cocky..adding in another cocky thing is just arrogant in this context
                  But... so... ugh, I'm so confused! Aren't I supposed to keep doing what she's responding to? Is it too arrogant or congruent?

                  Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                  "How about evenings" is a bit too blunt too - Ive already told you to check out ijji for how he does meets..seems youve ignored this completely
                  I'll try it more. I was trying it a bit but it wasn't working. Maybe I just need calibration?

                  Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                  It seems to me your ignoring the advice from people - which would tell me you are self-conceited and full of yourself which is coming across in your online conversations..chicks notice this stuff big time
                  No, I was trying to be playful here, that was your advice, wasn't it?

                  Cut me a little slack, this is a lot to take in and I'm doing the best I can.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                    If she asked a stupid question, just ignore it and lead her to where you want to go

                    Chicks arent puas - they make mistakes and occasionally will say things to fuck themselves up

                    As for the congruency thing - adapt what I said to your style.that was just an example

                    As I mentioned in last reply, there was arrogance showing in your reply and there is arrogance/self-conceit showing in a lot of your replies

                    That is an issue you need to deal with..these women arent stupid..you are acting as if they are and being a dickhead to them unnecessarily
                    Ok man. Thanks again for the insight.

                    I know women can f*ck themselves up, just like I can. I just hope we can both find a way to see past each other's shortcomings to get in bed with each other.

                    I'm gonna look over the main things you mentioned and hopefully the next bit of online convos will be a better read.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                      For online, forget thinking about congruence so much - just dont come across as a dick and say things which lead the conversation to a dead-end - you dont want that

                      Your issue for now is keeping the conversation going, which means:

                      1. Be careful not to say anything arrogant. Saying that one statement like "dont I know it" is ok but anything more and your just arrogant. That last girl was super keen..she thought you were arrogant and stopped replying basically

                      2. Dont lead convos to a dead end

                      3. Dont say stupid ass questions that are useless

                      4. Dont take everything so literally

                      5. Ignore anything stupid you think she says..she is not stupid believe me.most of the time they are trying to be playful but you're misinterpreting them

                      P.S Yes sorry my last reply was a bit too blunt, I edited it out, what I meant was that there is self-conceit showing in some of your replies to them..this needs addressing

                      I actually really appreciated your last reply. Blunt is good for me.

                      As for your tips, I'll do what I can. I need actionable steps so let me know if I'm on the right track:

                      1. Be careful not to say anything arrogant. Saying that one statement like "dont I know it" is ok but anything more and your just arrogant. That last girl was super keen..she thought you were arrogant and stopped replying basically

                      - Should I be gracious instead? So like, if they say "you're quite a catch yourself" I'll say "oh thank you. So what are you up to?" like that?



                      2. Dont lead convos to a dead end

                      - So instead, I try to keep the convo going by asking open-ended questions and be playful

                      3. Dont say stupid ass questions that are useless

                      - Sorry but this one is hard for me. But I'll try to just be a bit less engaging and only ask questions about things I'm interested in (which isn't much I'm afraid), or change the subject to something more interesting/fun.

                      4. Dont take everything so literally

                      - Again, hard for me. I'll work on it but it might be helpful if I knew how I should take things instead.

                      5. Ignore anything stupid you think she says..she is not stupid believe me.most of the time they are trying to be playful but you're misinterpreting them

                      - Yeah I get that a lot. Also however, whenever I have tried to engage playfully the convo dies instantly. I don't really know how to engage in a playful way that women enjoy. I just have my crazy self-coinceited ways.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Ok, thanks Impulse. I totally agree with you, I'm going nowhere so I'll do what you suggest. I totally think I can get good at this but having a direction is extremely helpful, so thank you very much.

                        EDIT: Also knowing WHAT is going on is very helpful to me too. Like when you said:

                        Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                        1. Be careful not to say anything arrogant. Saying that one statement like "dont I know it" is ok but anything more and your just arrogant. That last girl was super keen..she thought you were arrogant and stopped replying basically

                        That was immensely helpful because I had no idea (part of being arrogant I guess. :/ I'm working on it)

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Reading a bunch of ijjjji's topics today to try and "get" playfulness and spontaneous meets.

                          In the meanwhile got a reply online and it turned out to be a time waster:

                          • Today - 8:57am
                            Her: Hi, thanks. I haven't watched the vampire diaries for quite some time. Are you a fan? ​
                          • Today - 10:53am
                            Me: Yeah, Damon is my hero. What brings you online so early?
                          • Her: If your read my profile you'd know I'm in Russia ​

                            I did not reply because, well, I can't see a good reason to.

                            How was that bit about Damon tho? Playful enough?




                          EDIT: I'm having trouble understanding ijjji's spontaneous meet idea:

                          • Originally posted by ijjjji
                            Daigoro, you know I LOVE all your posts, so I'll tell you straight: some of your examples are HINTING FOR MEET.

                            Allow me to list the main topics to NOT bring up:
                            -future (any way shape or form)
                            -activities/interests/hobbies (esp. ones that could be done together)
                            -places
                            -food/drink
                            -what you are doing right now, or asking what she is doing


                            (I know, a bit excessive, but in order to make this method fool-proof (100%) even for inexperienced guys, it really needs to be.)

                            - -
                            Qlue, it neads to be a CLEAR HINT. Examples:
                            "Im doing X now/later!" (Where x is doable together.)
                            "What foods do you like?"
                            "Mmmm I have some delicious food X in my fridge."
                            "What are you doing later/day x?"

                            Warning - bottom one above is tricky! Planning must be avoided! I dodge like this:

                            girl: "jiji u so funny buuut what u plan after work tmrw?"

                            ij: "tmrw is uncertain for me I could call if becomes possible. but but waht u doing now? u have any good foods at home? im sorry im so starving!"


                            - -
                            j, if you contact her 5pm, that is a HUGE hint (beg) for meeting right there!! Please remember: NO (zero) HINTING FOR MEET. (Lol, I may need to compile an extensive list of various things that tells girls you are desperate to meet up with them...)

                            Sidenote - my reply rate is highest around 11pm to midnight. Girls too busy during daylight!
                            This is confusing to me.

                            On the one hand ijjjji clearly says "DO NOT HINT AT A MEET" but then he says he himself texts girls saying things like:

                            Originally posted by ijjjji
                            ij: "tmrw is uncertain for me I could call if becomes possible. but but waht u doing now? u have any good foods at home? im sorry im so starving!"
                            Isn'tr that hinting at a meet?

                            And doesn't that contradict the advice he gave just above it:

                            Originally posted by ijjjji
                            Allow me to list the main topics to NOT bring up:
                            -future (any way shape or form)
                            -activities/interests/hobbies (esp. ones that could be done together)
                            -places
                            -food/drink
                            -what you are doing right now, or asking what she is doing
                            I'm doing my best to learn this stuff but seriously, can you be any more confusing?

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Ok so, trying to be playful but I'm hitting such a brain shut-down when doing it. Observe:

                            • Today - 12:05pm
                              Me: Hey [name], you're really naturally pretty - I can tell. Anyway, nice to meet you, I'm Sarge
                            • Today - 2:27pm
                              Her: Hey! My name is [real name]
                            • Today - 2:51pm
                              Me: Hey [real name] n2mu
                            • Her: nice to meet you to
                            • Today - 4:58pm
                              Me: cool. do you have cats?
                            • I'm trying to be playful with the cats thing but I honestly don't get playfulness (Yet!). I also don't get the open-ended questions thing. I'm in a convo with another girl right now and I'm having a hell of a time finding questions that are open-ended.

                            EDIT: I'm feeling really stupid doing the playful thing but so far the girl is into it. o.O I'll post the convo when it's done (one way or the other lol)

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Ok. Tried a few things here.

                              Tried to:

                              - Be playful
                              - Jump topics (was hard, I always feel it's wrong to be random and jump topics)
                              - reward her qualifying with my horniness (PE game? Can't remember who it was)
                              - Set up an adventurous frame (Bacchus)
                              - Get number, simply to text and practice ijjjji's game

                              Here's the convo:

                              • oday - 5:10pm
                                Me: Hey [name], you're really naturally pretty - I can tell. Anyway, nice to meet you, I'm Sarge


                              • Her: Well that's really sweet of you! Nice to meet you as well Sarge! I'm [real name] but I'm sure you picked that up​


                              • Me: N2mu [real name]. yeah I'm quick that way, enjoying your week?


                              • Her: I am currently on aunty duty for the next day or so and it's been wonderful haha. How about you? ​


                              • Me: wow, sounds like fun. I'm enjoying the weather. thought I might do some skiing down the street. you're not a cat lady are you?


                              • Her: Hahaha I have a cat but he doesn't live with me. I don't really have a favourite animal lol like them all!​


                              • Me: I see, if you could pick an animal to be for a day, tho, what would it be?


                              • Her: This is a hard one. I mean I want to say something cool like a tiger because they are totally awesome but I would probably go with a horse. The distance you could make being a horse haha​


                              • Today - 5:29pm
                                Me: that's true, tigers are awesome. The power and the carefree attitude is perfect. Horses yeah, but a cheetah could go faster. I sense you just like horses


                              • Her: Haha I do like horses. But I like most animals anyway ​


                              • Me: yeah animals are pretty cool. what about traveling, been anywhere adventurous?


                              • Her: I went to Iceland by myself a few years back now and I would highly recommend it to anyone who likes the outdoors! Also did Hawaii alone to do some hiking and that was amazing as well but who doesn't like Hawaii. I've been to a few other places as well but I work for an airline so it's easier for me to take off. What about you? ​


                              • Me: I love that you've travelled, it's so cute. I actually went to New York in 2009. it was awesome. I do want to go to Iceland to be honest. I've heard nothing but good things about it. Where do you want to go next?


                              • Her: Haha why is that cute?! Next actually is Hawaii again but another island. I plan on hiking the Na Pali coast and camping along the way! I also want to hike the west coast trail on Vancouver island. And then Mexico in November for a wedding . Also I'd totally go back to Iceland ​


                              • Just now!
                                Me: Wow, you're a little trail blazer! stop being so adventurous you're turning me on. Listen, I gotta go but why don't you give me your number and I'll text you some time

                                Her: Hahahaha sounds good ###-###-####



                                Better guys?

                                Now... when do I text her and how?

                                I want to try ijjjji's game but I'm torn between his 2 options. Text her everyday or wait till the weekend.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Originally posted by Impulse View Post
                                ^that last convo was fuckin awesome!

                                Well done dude....huge improvement

                                And much more flowing and interesting...seems you nailed it with that one

                                now keep using that exact same structure (use the same lines)

                                You've got this nailed now
                                Thanks man.

                                EDIT: So... when should I text her and how does one make the text flow from the online to the text?EDIT

                                2: So trying to be like ijjjji and not future-project but rather keep things contained, I sent the following text to that girl from the above convo:

                                "Hi [name] it's Sarge from okc. Now you have my number. "

                                Good? Bad? Ugly?

                                Comment

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