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Do people with insecurities ever truly recover in your experience?

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  • Do people with insecurities ever truly recover in your experience?

    In my experience of reading the boards, the the main insecurities that men get which concern doing good with women deal with height, physical appearance, and to a small extent race.

    Do men who get these insecurities ever truly recover from them or do they still hold these insecurities even if they do have success with women?

    Have you personally known any success stories?

  • #2
    Yea, I started out massively insecure. I was raised by insane religious fanatics who abused me and told me I was worthless, which I believed. Over time, having success with women and a career, it got better. Much better. You need to change your belief set. You likely also need to change your tactics with women. Unless you are a total loser and smell bad, there are women out there who want to fuck you. You just need to learn to recognize them and the basics of how to pull it off.

    Make a deal with yourself that you will invest one hour a day in making yourself more attractive to women and learning how to seduce them. Work on improving your fitness, grooming, and wardrobe while you work on social and seduction skills. Start feeling good about who you are. Get out and meet women.

    It's the job that was never started that takes the longest.
    The older the violin, the sweeter the music. Augustus McCrae

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Hendrick's left hand View Post
      In my experience of reading the boards, the the main insecurities that men get which concern doing good with women deal with height, physical appearance, and to a small extent race.

      Do men who get these insecurities ever truly recover from them or do they still hold these insecurities even if they do have success with women?

      Have you personally known any success stories?
      Women alone will not do it. But yeah its possible but not easy. Most take an easier path, one of blame, in some subvert way. But yes its possible if you keep yourself steady and straight on. And that you know that THAT and not only women is your goal.

      Tip, look outside of the box, adventure to find whats right.
      If when everything is hardest, you look at the image of a man who will never give up, you will not be insecure, deep down.

      However, as a more superficial answer. Yes, insecurities are often overcome very powerfully. And women is the place to learn about yourself. But it will not come by itself.

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      • #4
        I can believe the crazy parents bit, had to deal with those myself haha, but I love my parents. My parents may have made their mistakes in raising me to an extent but they did the best they could with what they had.

        Now on to me. I dress well in most cases and do try to improve myself as much as I can but I swear being a science major and taking those upper level sciences is fucking killing me these days. I barely have time somedays to hit the gym because the work given is so much sometimes. It becomes such a monster obstacle for a man like me who wants to put some effort into this, it is no joke being a science major in college. Best 4 years of life my ass!

        I do have a particular insecurity that I would love to get over and one day I can see just how happy I will be in life if I get over it.

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        • #5
          My fraternity saved my life.

          I suffered severe anxiety and depression that stemmed from a decade of intense bullying. It really wasn't until I pledged a frat (and no, I wasn't put through some violent/gay hazing) and came to realize that a dozen guys always had my back that I came out of my shell. But even that wasn't fast. It took a legit, hour long heart to heart with the fraternity president for me to even believe they liked me, and didn't just let me in because I had good grades and could boost the group's GPA.

          Insecurities are tough to handle, but they can be overcome. It takes a lot, though, through some combination of internal and external factors. That's what happened to me, anyways.

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          • #6
            Tell me about it!
            My guess is I'm insecure aswell.
            Check this, yesterday night fishing at a park here in the Miami beaches area 5 girls were stranded in an empty parking lot as we were about to leave. their vehicle won't start, during the failed heroic attempts of my comrades I stayed in the truck waiting for them to finish helping. skipping forward its getting dark and the park is officially closed no way the girls can stay. they packed up what they were going to take from their vehicle and just stood their as if waiting for someone to ask them if they wanted a ride out the park. I said "are you girls going to wait here" the mumbled and I said "lets go" by this time I had spotted the their alpha chick. What a body! I noticed that first ofcourse haha Fast forward the ride to the parks entrance. Everyone gets off 4 girls on the otherwise talking with the chauffeur. #5 drop her bags near me, received a text and she said wow that's the same ringtone as my dad blah blah and then started talking about the stars.. I was thinking about waving her over closer to me and just wrap her there... But I was far into my head at this point! Fail! Insecurity maybe. Been thinking and I think I just have to get comfortable with me and girls again. All I was thinking about was my body build I'm 5' 8" @ 205 more or less, but the SOI were obvious! :/

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Hendrick's left hand View Post
              I can believe the crazy parents bit, had to deal with those myself haha, but I love my parents. My parents may have made their mistakes in raising me to an extent but they did the best they could with what they had.
              Great attitude, man. It took therapy for me to have this realization and resolve the issues I had with my parents. Seriously.

              I do have a particular insecurity that I would love to get over and one day I can see just how happy I will be in life if I get over it.
              What's your insecurity, Hendrick? What can't you accept about yourself, and why have you placed so much importance on it? You can give your parents compassion for how they raised you, and yet you can't give yourself compassion for whatever it is you can't accept?

              If it's about looks, take a look at this picture of a burned marine and a wife. Tell me if you think he embraces his insecurity.

              article-0-18F03BCC000005DC-438_634x638.jpgthumbnail.php?file=Tony_Porta_113553180.jpg

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              • #8
                1. Find a mission.
                2. Dedicate time to your mission every day.
                3. Forget about women and forget about your ego.

                A lot of brilliant people have said that happiness doesn't come from searching for happiness, it comes from dedicating yourself to some other activity. Well, it's true.

                Also, work out and eat a better diet if you're not already. Getting yourself in hormonal balance will make you forget you have any "problem" with women.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Hendrick's left hand View Post
                  In my experience of reading the boards, the the main insecurities that men get which concern doing good with women deal with height, physical appearance, and to a small extent race.

                  Do men who get these insecurities ever truly recover from them or do they still hold these insecurities even if they do have success with women?

                  Have you personally known any success stories?
                  When I was 13 years old, I was a fucking thin guy, a skeleton. I was a nerdy that played age of empires all day, drinking coca cola and eating cookies. All people called me on, "your soo skinny, look at your cheast, it looks like plain wood".

                  At that time I was in school and was "in love" with a girl, I could not get her attention. She started to hook up with older boys.

                  I was soo insecure, I had shame of my body and apperance. Then, I reached a limit break.

                  I said fuck this shit, all these people will see someday how great I am.

                  After that, I talked to my parents and said that I would like to join the gym and asked them to pay it for me.

                  I searched and read everything I could get in from of me, about dieting, bodybuilding, arnold schwarzenegger, ronnie coleman, supplements and anabolics. Litteraly everything. I remember that I had such a really strong desire to change that condition.

                  After 8 months in the gym I found out that I'm blessed with good genetics. My body started to improve, I change my hair cut to a spiky one... All girls at school started to give me attention.

                  Life is a loop. That girl that I had one-its, asked to a friend to ask if I want to hook up with her. I did. But I wasted a great time in High school and at the uni in relationships.

                  I never quit the gym after all those things. This was a new lifestyle. I even competed in national junior amateur bodybuilding competition. Now I'm with 101kg, 10% bf, 6'3.

                  This was a life lesson to me, I transformed myself. My insecurity was caused by a external factor that I needed to change. You cant fake external factors like this, you need to change the external. You can't change these things with mental masturbation, but trough action.

                  Time after my dirvoce last year, I worked with the same amout of effort to be good and confident with women.

                  I found out that I'm a greek god, women flirt with me all the time, in the streets, at elevator. It's the aura that I'm shinning.

                  But despite all that, I still have one insecurity. It is the finance condition insecurity.

                  Now I'm working with all my effort to change this insecurity. Myself and 3 uni friends started a law firm this year and I'm working as hell to make my first six figure year income. Despite being a lawyer, I want power and money to whatever I want, anytime I want, at anyplace.

                  I'm tired feel insecurities in my life and I will change this last insecurity for sure. I will be machine or die trying.

                  I'm relentless and hunger,

                  Bull.
                  Last edited by Bull; 04-29-2013, 05:48 PM. Reason: Writting mistakes

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                  • #10
                    my insecurity struck again today and I had a panic attack over it inside my apartment, wow.....

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                    • #11
                      What about some medical prescription and psychological help? Think about that, that maybe the case.

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                      • #12
                        Have thought about it but I don't know if it is that serious.

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                        • #13
                          You'll always have them, it's just a matter of whether or not you choose to engage them and give them weight. Best thing to do is to focus on trying to become what you want to be, rather than trying to avoid what you don't want to be. And at the end of the day, we're all worm food anyways, so make of your life what you will.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Z View Post
                            You'll always have them, it's just a matter of whether or not you choose to engage them and give them weight. Best thing to do is to focus on trying to become what you want to be, rather than trying to avoid what you don't want to be. And at the end of the day, we're all worm food anyways, so make of your life what you will.
                            When you say always have them do you mean that they will repeatedly come up here and then even if I become successful with women?

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                            • #15
                              Absolutely. You're never going to get rid of them completely. They're part of who you are. What gives any insecurity power is running from it as opposed to owning it. Insecurity is nothing more than a fear of being judged for part of you that you don't like. Once you accept those parts, that fear tends to go away for the most part. It will come back from time to time, but by learning to recognize what is happening, you can cut it off before it gets particularly bad. Fear is a choice.

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