Ad

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Dodging cunnilingus

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Originally posted by Lovergirl View Post
    A woman's clit is OUTSIDE. There is no need to stick your tongue up inside to give cunnilingus.
    Hehe, most guys have no clue how to eat pussy, which is why they come up with weird excuses not to do it (= ego preservation). OP is case in point.

    Comment


    • #17
      Basically, you are the mirror image of those women who just lay there in bed and expect the guy to do all the work. I can tell you from experience, that sucks and is not sexy, nor does it make one crave for more. Sex is a shared activity. The more you give, the more you get. You are missing out on as much as she is. There is a good feeling that comes from giving another person pleasure.
      The older the violin, the sweeter the music. Augustus McCrae

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by Tubarao View Post
        Hehe, most guys have no clue how to eat pussy, which is why they come up with weird excuses not to do it (= ego preservation). OP is case in point.
        Ha! Good one.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Silvertree View Post
          Basically, you are the mirror image of those women who just lay there in bed and expect the guy to do all the work. I can tell you from experience, that sucks and is not sexy, nor does it make one crave for more. Sex is a shared activity. The more you give, the more you get. You are missing out on as much as she is. There is a good feeling that comes from giving another person pleasure.
          I'll tell you a True Peaks Story. My ex, probably one of the most selfish people I know (figured this out near the end), I would give her "cunninlingus" on a regular basis, like I said, I'll do it with an LTR. She was a horn dog and we'd have sex every night we were together, usually multiple times..... I enjoyed going down on her, our sex would last an hour at times. But she wouldn't go down on me, her excuse: "I don't like it, I'm not good at it anyway." I brought it up a few times, but honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal to me, the sex was still very good. Fast forward to the end of our relationship, she knew it was coming to an end, I was beginning to withdraw....well low and behold guess what she does, gives me a blow job. And let me tell you, she was a pro at it..... Same day a few hours later, she tried it again....but at this point, I realized what she was doing (trying to keep me around), and it disgusted me. She was that good at it, and for all the ways I had pleased her, she was only willing to do it when she thought I was leaving.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Peaks View Post
            She was that good at it, and for all the ways I had pleased her, she was only willing to do it when she thought I was leaving.
            that's because she knew she can get away with it (not giving you BJs even though you liked them). And let me be the first to kick you while you're down, by saying "It's all your fault"

            I'm still confused how instead of making a rule to yourself to be honest and clear about what you expect in a relationship and to be willing to next chicks who're not on board with it, you created a rule like "Cunnilingus is a privilege not a right"...

            -M

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Manneken-Pis View Post
              that's because she knew she can get away with it (not giving you BJs even though you liked them). And let me be the first to kick you while you're down, by saying "It's all your fault"

              I'm still confused how instead of making a rule to yourself to be honest and clear about what you expect in a relationship and to be willing to next chicks who're not on board with it, you created a rule like "Cunnilingus is a privilege not a right"...
              -M
              I'm trying to understand your guys' logic here and it's going right by me.

              And let me be the first to kick you while you're down, by saying "It's all your fault"
              This I know. She was the first LTR, other than one that really was bad at it (it wasn't enjoyable to me), that didn't like to give them. I just assumed it was her, and like I said, it wasn't a sticking point, it was something, at the time, I could look past. I shouldn't have though, I realized that later.

              instead of making a rule to yourself to be honest and clear about what you expect in a relationship and to be willing to next chicks who're not on board with it, you created a rule like "Cunnilingus is a privilege not a right"...
              Like I said, if it's an LTR, then I will do it, because I want to.

              If it's not an LTR, I created that rule because I don't always want to go down on chicks I'm not in a relationship with.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Lovergirl View Post
                Good chance she cares, and other women will in the future. If she does "use her words"? Then what is he going to do?



                Highly, highly, doubtful. I've never in my life heard of a woman being "turned on" that a man doesn't go down on her. I've heard a hell of a lot of women complain about it though. Not going down = bad lover, for a majority of women. Do you know men who get "turned on" that a woman doesn't give blow jobs? Me either. It's the same damn thing. Human beings crave oral sex.
                Men and women are different. Women may be more turned on by a man's confident and dominant personality than by a specific sex act - therefore it may be more in my interest to not start licking the moment she brings it up. If I act like I want to, she'd probably see through it, which makes me look even less confident and dominant in the relationship, and if she didn't, she might think I always wanted to do it but never tried until she brought it up - which also makes me look unconfident!

                What women say they want in a relationship is often (usually?) not the advice that will actually be in the man's interest (or the woman's, even, if she loses respect/attraction for him). Most women would say 'oh yes, of course expensive dinner dates are the way to go' but around her we know that's a losing game.

                Obv there are dominant ways to go about cunnilingus, as my OP said. But it's not very dominant if I do it for the first time right after she brings it up - so, even if, for the sake of argument, I start doing it sometime, I still need a way to handle her asking. The question is basically outright 'I don't like it' vs tease and joke about it vs nonverbal response like initiate makeout/sex that doesn't go in that direction (if she's enjoying it I doubt she'll object).

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Starman View Post
                  Hereīs a suggestion: Since you donīt like going down or fingering her, but you did mention liking BDSM kind of stuff, get a magic wand dildo. Women come in seconds of using those. Tie her up and make her come a little harder than she is used to. If you want to make it more fun, anchor the intense orgasm by sucking her earlobe at peak, that will be a fun trick to play with later as you are fucking her in the ass.

                  Hope you have fun!
                  Now this is useful advice. As it happens I do these things already (put a sex toy in her, tie her down, dirty talk, etc.). One approach I was thinking if she brings up fingering/cunnilingus is to wordlessly start making out with her (she might think I'm going for fingering/licking), and do something like this to her (if she's enjoying it, it's extremely unlikely she'll say 'that's weird, I assumed you were going to start fingering or licking me')

                  'Fortunately' she's very ticklish so I suspect fingering/licking would not be her cup of tea. On the occasions I have licked and kissed as low as her belly button or on her upper legs, she has squirmed super-ticklishly. I don't think she's really going to start walking fingering/licking as a regular part of our sex life, but more likely she would bring up the issue on principle ('I give you lots of BJs, how come you never...')

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by ganon View Post
                    Men and women are different. Women may be more turned on by a man's confident and dominant personality than by a specific sex act - therefore it may be more in my interest to not start licking the moment she brings it up. If I act like I want to, she'd probably see through it, which makes me look even less confident and dominant in the relationship, and if she didn't, she might think I always wanted to do it but never tried until she brought it up - which also makes me look unconfident!

                    What women say they want in a relationship is often (usually?) not the advice that will actually be in the man's interest (or the woman's, even, if she loses respect/attraction for him). Most women would say 'oh yes, of course expensive dinner dates are the way to go' but around her we know that's a losing game.

                    Obv there are dominant ways to go about cunnilingus, as my OP said. But it's not very dominant if I do it for the first time right after she brings it up - so, even if, for the sake of argument, I start doing it sometime, I still need a way to handle her asking. The question is basically outright 'I don't like it' vs tease and joke about it vs nonverbal response like initiate makeout/sex that doesn't go in that direction (if she's enjoying it I doubt she'll object).
                    you are mixing the general idea of head with your particular situation.

                    when it comes to giving head it can be either a dominant or submissive thing. I have eaten a girl out and played her like a musical instrument, and I have also have women ride my face. conversely, receiving head can also be a dominant or submissive thing. I allow myself to let go, to be uninhibited in expressing myself and allowing a woman to control and drive the thing. I have also face-fucked women. all 4 of those scenarios were enjoyable for me, and all 4 scenarios were enjoyable for a the women. I think Manneken-Pis hit the nail on the head: something that is supposed to be fun pleasurable and enjoyable is being turned into a huge massive deal.

                    and btw, if you are getting hung up on power play, which it sounds like you are, there is nothing "beta" or "weak" about being submissive, when done correctly. its actually very much the opposite. you mention BDSM, so then you should know that it is actually the submissive that wields the power within the dynamic. and again, keep in mind there is a difference between being appropriately vulnerable and being a little bitch. when you open yourself up and become vulnerable, and you do so correctly, it is extremely powerful. about a year ago I seduced a woman, spending 3 consecutive nights together. we had a powerful connection and I knew that with this woman I could let go and be uninhibited with expressing pleasure. this woman was a 30 year old knockout, and she had never seen a man let go like I did. I was twitching, yelling, moaning. She was extremely turned on by that, she said that not only was it fun and empowering to top, but that it gave her permission to let go herself when the dynamic shifted. later when I was ready to cum I told her that I was going to nut in her mouth, but it was so powerful that I came all over her face, her eyes, hair, everything. she couldnt see, but the smile on her face was ear to ear, and as she was cleaning it off she told me she had never gotten a facial before. did I mention that it wasnt until the 3rd night that we had actual penetrative sex?

                    regarding your specific situation with your woman. BD introduced me to the idea of "zero-based thinking". it the idea that you evaluate your present situation, and knowing what you now know about it, you ask yourself if you would have still made the decisions which lead you there. if the answer is "no" then you need to take action to get out of your situation as quickly as possible. if going down on a woman is something you want to do (and I conceptually dont understand how it cannot be, barring trauma or limiting belief), then you should do it. if it would be inconsistent with your past behavior then you either manage the situation, or you cut your losses and start fresh with a new woman. but continuing forward - not doing what you want only to keep a cetrain power dynamic, that just sounds like "cutting off the nose to spite the face"

                    Originally posted by Manneken-Pis View Post
                    that's because she knew she can get away with it (not giving you BJs even though you liked them). And let me be the first to kick you while you're down, by saying "It's all your fault"

                    I'm still confused how instead of making a rule to yourself to be honest and clear about what you expect in a relationship and to be willing to next chicks who're not on board with it, you created a rule like "Cunnilingus is a privilege not a right"...

                    -M
                    +2 !!!

                    Originally posted by ChitownMaverick View Post
                    It's not your job to please women..
                    uuhhgg.... I know what you mean, and I conceptually agree with you, but those words just dont sit well with me. its true, its not my job, per se, but I get so much pleasure out of it. I like giving, and I like receiving, and a woman who has trouble receiving.. thats a disappointing experience. it not my responsibility, not totally, but..

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      So you guys eat out every chick you have sex with?

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Peaks View Post
                        So you guys eat out every chick you have sex with?
                        most. the general idea is that I love pussy and giving pleasure. so if its good pussy (clean, good hygiene, doesnt smell funky), AND I am vibing with her, AND its clear she doesnt have mental hangups, AND I am reasonably convinced that she is not having any outbreaks, AND the physical space is condusive to getting down and dirty... then yea, why not??

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by ChitownMaverick View Post
                          Who cares? You're getting anxious about a scenario that, from what it sounds like, is highly unlikely to happen. If she doesn't get her pussy licked, let that be a lesson to her that you don't get what you want (if she in fact wants it) without using her words and asserting so.

                          It's not your job to please women. Everything is A-OK in your relationship. She is probably highly turned on to the specific fact that you DON'T seem to care about going down on her / pleasing her in that way. Women love generous lovers, and they also love selfish lovers. They're pretty happy as long as they're getting some dick.

                          And for the record I love eating pussy. But if you don't, don't do it. Anything that requires you to "acquire a taste for it" is usually not worth it (alcohol, cigarettes, etc).
                          I personally know a girl (through a partner of mine) who became pretty popular on twitter for anonymously mocking her (edit: now ex) LTR for never going down on her, and people who know her know who this person is. Now, this is an exhibition of poor relationship skills on her part but also evidence of the fact that just because a girl doesn't say anything to you directly on the subject doesn't mean it's not having a detrimental effect on how you are perceived by your social circle and the social circles of women that you fuck.

                          Now, personally, I couldn't care less about a guy who wasn't crazy about going down (though, like Dan Savage says, I think that oral sex should "come standard with most models" in the current era) but... A guy who isn't willing to finger a girl? Not only would I screen him out, I'd assume he isn't even into pussy. I mean, Jesus. Putting your face on a cunt is one thing, but... You don't even want to touch it?

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            OP, don't sweat it so much. You can always just stick with eating her ass.
                            (It's completely amazing. Nothing gets a girl going like the feeling of a hard, wiggly tongue sliding in and out of her ass-hole, rhythmically fucking her while her ass-cheeks gets slapped around a bit for good measure!)

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by DogSoldier View Post
                              OP, don't sweat it so much. You can always just stick with eating her ass.
                              (It's completely amazing. Nothing gets a girl going like the feeling of a hard, wiggly tongue sliding in and out of her ass-hole, rhythmically fucking her while her ass-cheeks gets slapped around a bit for good measure!)
                              +1
                              "You don't become a concert pianist by only playing the white keys"

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Hitori View Post
                                I mean, Jesus. Putting your face on a cunt is one thing, but... You don't even want to touch it?
                                My thoughts exactly.

                                You think it's not dominant to finger a woman? Come on. Stand over her as she lies on the bed. put your hand on her throat and finger her till it starts making squishy sounds. Watch her back arch and her face turn red as she pants and squeals. Flip her over, grab her by the scruff, and finger her from behind. You'll feel dominant, alright.

                                I'm with tubs here - op lacks experience and is insecure.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X