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Bad Sex = Hooking Girls? Wtf?

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  • Bad Sex = Hooking Girls? Wtf?

    strange phenomena that i talked about with a natural friend of mine.

    some of my best sexual experiences like top 5, 3 of them were one night stands.

    strangely though, the girls I've had really shitty sex with are still hooked. (the one night stand ones actually pumped and dumped me!)

    tyler talks about this as well, that giving girls shitty sex subcomminicates abundance cause you don't care = outcome independence and perhaps women rank that higher than actual good sex!!! weird right?

    additional theories

    1. the girls i had the best sex with were like 9+ so cause of their higher smv they're just used to really good sex - creds my natural friend. but i've had shitty sex with a 9 too where i could barely get it up and she still was hooked.
    2. girls take responsibility and want to prove that they can make it hot.
    3. what i consider good sex and girls do is completely different and i'm unaware.
    4. if a girl likes you, she likes you, no amount of crazy sex has much power in changing her decision

    what you guys think?

  • #2
    tyler talks about this as well, that giving girls shitty sex subcomminicates abundance cause you don't care = outcome independence and perhaps women rank that higher than actual good sex!!! weird right?

    Yeah some great analysis. I gotta try more of not caring if they get off.

    3. what i consider good sex and girls do is completely different and i'm unaware.

    Generally where they orgasm can be considered good sex. However, it's rare especially the first time so sometimes just going for a little while qualifies as good.

    I think you're pretty much right on most of this analysis and would just add what kind of value are you providing for the girls? In their eyes maybe they don't want or know what great sex is and they would rather keep you around for other shit like status? Sometimes it depends on their age too.


    • #3
      bad sex being = me not getting hard, or cumming too fast. not necessarily not caring if they get off cause I do care but I kinda just shrug and jokingly say okay tonights not my best performance lol.


      • #4
        uhhh idk

        just focus on WHO you want, don't try to rate the sex..or settle for someone because she seems more willing for more.
        i mean, the girls you aint compatible with you wouldnt even consider more with anyway

        the maybe girls are worth considering
        and girls that may seem to be chasing you can lose interest just as well as keeping it

        I notice @ myself that when i come at sex (only physically) somewhat, afterwards my whole needyness/itch for the guy disappears for quite a while. Except when there is some very strong emotional component.

        apparently it's what sets me free too somewhat.. it's just tough that at that point guys may have gotten used to some kind of attention as well, that i suddenly dont feel like giving anymore


        • #5
          The best sex I had was with a hooker I met once and then never saw her again saidly.
          She was a bit dominant with actual doing any kinky stuff. But somehow she made me wanting her fucking her harder and harder...

          The worst sex I had with girls from online game and girls which were not really my type and I just fucked them out of needyness or ego validation.. These shots always went backwards. I didnt came at all. I always get it up. but when the sex is bad I dont cum....


          • #6
            This is cart before the horse. It's the reason she's fucking you in the first place. It isn't the sex hooking her, it's that she is hooked on you/having feelings and that is WHY she is having sex with you. Why the sex can be a little vanilla, she isn't as in to it, so you don't get as turned on/don't give a shit.

            Vs if she is purely having sex mainly based on arousal things are just hotter in general so the sex is better for you and her. However you might not necessarily be someone she would want in her life socially or personality wise.

            Great sex can lead to LTRs, and bad sex can lead to her not even talking to you again. It is a pattern though what you mention. Been in hell 30 friends with benefits, can't even count, and short to long term deals, 4 full blown stalkers. A lot of them valued me for a lot more than arousal. Cart before the horse is my best explanation of the confusion of it.



            • #7
              yeah this girl i hooked up with last weekend not that you should take what they say as gospel but she was quite self-aware. her best sex was because she was really into the guy. which basically has nothing to do with the sex lol.


              • #8
                I've had this happen a bunch of times. I thought I blew it with a terrible sexual performance. Nope. Still hooked.


                • #9
                  Late to the party however I exprienced this phenomenon sometimes too. I guess they might like your attitude when things don't go your way (outcome independent, the way you deal with hard situations... girls appreciate that a lot, even more than good sex).

                  I also read somewhere that first time sex should be ok at best, it means save your kinky, roleplaying stuff, special tricks... for later, also dial down the dominance a bit. It leaves room for relationship (aka the sex) to ''get better and better''. If first time sex is too good she might be scared to get intimate with you next time, thinking there's no way she can make it that good again and be afraid to disappoint you. She could also think of you as a player with many experiences and depends on girl, it might prevent her to contact you again.


                  • #10
                    So there's a confirmation bias at play as Gun said?
                    The girls that are really hooked would want more regardless the quality of sex - there are other factors influencing that outside of sex.

                    SoFasttt Don't you think the EFA and how you communicate explicitly regarding sexual preferences / sexuality is of importance?
                    I'd say in general it's wise to spice things up gradually - building trust. But some spices can be introduced quite soon by reading the girl well / sex talk.

                    Well, overall I'd say it's about the qualities of women you'd enjoy to have in your life to decide what approach you'll take
                    - A great story that appetizes the mind by the thrill and naughtiness
                    - An angle to explore together and try out stuff
                    - Just enjoying women's company for various reasons (shared activities, their way of communicating and expressing different from men)
                    etc etc

                    Just wanting her to come back is not an okay motive for me, if not grounded on like a greater motive that brings me personal satisfaction

                    kinky sex is quite important to me lately, that I wouldnt be as interested in a girl as much if she cannot see potential in this. But maybe i have a few blind spots to womens sexuality (ofcourse I have!!)