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  • #16
    Originally posted by Lovergirl View Post
    I remember the days when "ethics" weren't allowed on this forum.
    I don't. I have always felt free to express my mind here.

    Either way, I'm not talking about "ethics" per se. I'm talking about the rules of the secret society. We don't damage or destroy other people's relationships. At worst, we leave their relationships the same way we found them, and at best, we strengthen people's relationships, which, many times, involves discreetly fucking them. Many married or taken women that I have fucked reported that I saved, or at least greatly improved, their public relationships or marriages by giving them just what they needed, which improved their moods with their primary partners and even helped them gain a new appreciation for their public relationship. At worst, the boyfriend or husband never found out about me, and if they did break up or get divorced, it had nothing to do with me.

    Falling in love with a taken or married person and trying to get them to choose between you and their primary has always been considered ultra beta and needy. The essence of the secret society is that they don't have to choose. They can have you AND their primary, and if the primary is not sufficiently open minded, they don't have to know about it. But the secret society person is certainly not going to go public by ruining the other person's official relationship. Again, that's beta and violates the rules of discretion.

    Discretion and secret society rules is what I'm getting at here, not "ethics."

    In any case, no one tries to shame guys on here if they want to do something people consider unethical.
    Ahem! Have you met me? I do it virtually everyday (at least when I come here).

    I am concerned that he has discretion issues. He seems to want everyone to know everything. Not sure what's up with that....
    Yup, that's my main concern too. As I said, probe the relationship. If he's ready to dump her for you, that's one thing (since that's totally on him). But if he wants to keep her AND is making it clear that he has no use for discretion, forget about him. He's needy.
    SLUT SHAMING IS HATRED OF MEN

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    • #17
      Originally posted by NWP View Post

      I don't. I have always felt free to express my mind here.

      Either way, I'm not talking about "ethics" per se. I'm talking about the rules of the secret society. We don't damage or destroy other people's relationships. At worst, we leave their relationships the same way we found them, and at best, we strengthen people's relationships, which, many times, involves discreetly fucking them. Many married or taken women that I have fucked reported that I saved, or at least greatly improved, their public relationships or marriages by giving them just what they needed, which improved their moods with their primary partners and even helped them gain a new appreciation for their public relationship. At worst, the boyfriend or husband never found out about me, and if they did break up or get divorced, it had nothing to do with me.

      Falling in love with a taken or married person and trying to get them to choose between you and their primary has always been considered ultra beta and needy. The essence of the secret society is that they don't have to choose. They can have you AND their primary, and if the primary is not sufficiently open minded, they don't have to know about it. But the secret society person is certainly not going to go public by ruining the other person's official relationship. Again, that's beta and violates the rules of discretion.

      Discretion and secret society rules is what I'm getting at here, not "ethics."



      Ahem! Have you met me? I do it virtually everyday (at least when I come here).



      Yup, that's my main concern too. As I said, probe the relationship. If he's ready to dump her for you, that's one thing (since that's totally on him). But if he wants to keep her AND is making it clear that he has no use for discretion, forget about him. He's needy.
      I don't really think the same "rules" you have apply when the sexes are reversed. Women and men want different things, usually.

      As far as him being "needy", I'm not really seeing that. I'm not sure how lack of discretion = "neediness". I think he more just likes to brag, but I'm unclear on why.

      I went in again to see about a new car and he was full of hugs and compliments again, lol. There was a guy there he was training but that didn't stop him. He also put me on the phone with one of the guys I used to sleep with again (different one than last time- this guy is married now so it felt a little awkward). I'm not sure what that's about. Maybe he's trying to get me into a gangbang or something. I just can't be sure lol.

      He called me today about something to do with the car and was like "hey gorgeous, beautiful, precious girl". He greets me like that, and he keeps saying he just wants me to have a car that keeps me and my kids safe and that he doesn't care if he makes a commission on it and he let me take a car home to "test drive" it and keep it for two nights. He was going to let me keep it one night and I asked about another one and he said he might get in trouble but then called me back to tell me I can keep it till tomorrow. He also found me a car that is more what I described wanting to him when I bought the first car. Like, this one is the color I said I wanted and has extra seats like I wanted and more little extras.

      He NEVER mentions the girlfriend, which seems odd. I was going to ask about her but he had this guy he was training and we just didn't get in that discussion. It didn't stop him from constantly complimenting me though. He even said something about my earrings and commented on some facebook pics of a friend and I that he said he thought were cute. The guy he was training already knew things like that we had gone to high school together. He emailed me too and I don't remember giving him my email? Lol i must have somehow in the application process last time but he never emailed me then.

      So anyway, he seems super interested but he hasn't outright tried anything. So, I don't know if he will or not. He knows I know his girlfriend and there is always a risk of me telling her. Do you think that's what it is?






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      • #18
        Also, he called me a few minutes ago, at 11:30 pm on a weeknight. I know he was having a poker night with the guys because he had mentioned it earlier. Anyway, he sounded like he had been drinking. He apologized and claimed to have called me by accident, but this guy was like massively teasing him in the background. The guy in the background was like "I misssss you. I'll see you tomorrow!" and obviously mocking him for calling me. He says to me "I really will see you tomorrow, babe, sorry I didn't mean to call you" and I just said okay and let the call go. But what the hell? Lol What was that about? I swear we are both 40 and not 18.
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        • #19
          Why wonder what he wants? You know what you want. that's the important part. You want him. Want the option of it to be more than a ONS.(make room in his life.) And you want him to be the one chasing, right? So have him chasing. He got you chasing by hinting that things are not all peachy in his relationship. So flip the script on him. Play the lonely damsel in distress. Good girl looking for a good guy.
          He was testing the waters calling you at midnight. He already apologized for it. Don't let a good apology go unpunished. Tell him you are vulnerable and that he shouldn't play with your feelings. (Knowing you, you probably won't tell him that but that would be fast track to his protector/provider instincts. Trust me, every man has them.) In any case, drop the tough girl/ self-sufficient act and put on a bit of the romantic damsel in distress persona.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Sase View Post
            Why wonder what he wants? You know what you want. that's the important part. You want him. Want the option of it to be more than a ONS.(make room in his life.) And you want him to be the one chasing, right? So have him chasing. He got you chasing by hinting that things are not all peachy in his relationship. So flip the script on him. Play the lonely damsel in distress. Good girl looking for a good guy.
            He was testing the waters calling you at midnight. He already apologized for it. Don't let a good apology go unpunished. Tell him you are vulnerable and that he shouldn't play with your feelings. (Knowing you, you probably won't tell him that but that would be fast track to his protector/provider instincts. Trust me, every man has them.) In any case, drop the tough girl/ self-sufficient act and put on a bit of the romantic damsel in distress persona.
            I do want him and I do want more. He hasn't really hinted that things aren't great in his relationship. He just doesn't mention it, lol. I'm not really sure how to play the damsel in distress but I may have to try it somehow.

            I saw him today and he was the same way. He complimented me, hugged me a couple times and called me "princess". He was basically telling me he'd give me anything I asked for regarding the car. He also told me he loved me, jokingly, and its the second time he's done that. The last time it was because I made a comment about how easy the sale was going to be and he said "that's why I love you" but this time he just said it when I was leaving.

            I still need to ask him about his relationship but I guess I chickened out because I didn't say anything.
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            • #21
              So today he asked what I am doing for the Mayweather fight and i said I don't know I didn't even know it was happening (lol). (What am I going to do during a Mayweather fight? Cover my eyes? Lol)Then he says this guy we both know is throwing a party for it and it's supposed to be off the chain. See, if he didn't have a girlfriend i would take that as a hint. I'm so confused lol.
              Last edited by Lovergirl; 1 week ago.
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              • #22
                Why didn't you ask him? "So are you going with your GF? I would love to go but I don't have a date these days and I can't go alone. I hate getting all the drooling attention from drunken losers. And I'm tired of being alone too." You can still text him that. Bring up the GF question and then change the subject to your being available. And classy at the same time. That will give him some time to think of an answer to the GF question.

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                • #23
                  I guess I haven't asked him because I'm afraid of what he will say. I don't really want to hear how they are still together and happy and going to get married or something, because there is definitely a part of me that would like something more than just sex with him. I'm also afraid of him seeing that I actually like him like that, I guess because it makes me feel vulnerable. Plus I'd just feel stupid if it's not even an option because he's serious about someone- you know? Those would be good things to say though- if he asks me again.

                  Today we didn't talk as much as before because I had to go through some other people for the actual paying process and he was already working on another sale. But he still hugged me and called me gorgeous and asked me about the mayweather fight. He also said that he would cut out his commission from the price because all he wanted to see was me in a safe car after the last time and because he had such a good month last month that he's not even worried about the sale. That and he said he will take me to another dealership to get a something done that is under warranty and give me another car to drive for a couple days. He said maybe even one of these $70,000 cars that he really likes lol. Sounds risky, ha.

                  There are still several more times that I will have to see him. It almost seems like he is prolonging it. Like he owes me a full tank of gas but said to come back another time when it is closer to empty so he can fill it. He wrote me this email after too, it was professional and probably standard but he threw in a comment about how he really wants me to call him if I ever need anything that sounded like more than that.

                  I don't know- I just get the feeling he wants more from me but I'm too scared to be direct about it or to ask about the girlfriend. Maybe I will figure out an excuse to ask over text lol.





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                  • #24
                    You can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs.
                    I wasn't suggesting you put him on the spot and wait for an answer to the GF question. Just give him, somehow, a warning that the question will be coming. Then change the subject quickly so he can avoid an immediate answer. You want him to know you want more than a ONS and to give him a chance to think about his priorities. Warn him that eventually he'll have to shit or get off the pot. You have the shiny new toy advantage. (Boy am I full of cliches today!?! )
                    Once he made an excuse for why the GF is history you'll have to switch to retention game, but he's got to make that decision first.

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                    • #25
                      Maybe it was all just about the sale because now he seems more...distant. I don't know, it's weird because he seemed to be coming on so strong. I still have to go back there for some stuff but right now I'm feeling like the interest is gone.
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