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Why is he acting like this?

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  • #91
    Originally posted by pureevil View Post

    You want to avoid becoming fixated on someone. That throws your vibe and all your actions in ways that tend to be unattractive. Common advice to men here is GFTOW when they start to obsess like this over a particular girl, becuase this type of behavior works against getting what you're actually after.

    There's been a steady string of guys you move into obsession turf with over the years here, where you'll analyze them for months with whoever is willing to be a soundboard, and you actually get what you want from none of them. This completely adds up.
    I talk about it because itís interesting to me, figuring out why people/men act the way they do. I do like him but like I said Iíd be ok if we stayed friends, I have other men I can have sex with (just one lately but Iím not desperate or anything) and I just went out on a date and made out with (but no sex) someone the other day.

    If talking about him or trying to figure out how to act/what to do is ďobsessingĒ then I guess I am, but itís a learning experience. Are you saying I should just not think about it at all? This whole site is dedicated to men figuring out how to get what they want with women. Iím trying to figure out how to get what I want from men. Just letting the chips fall where they may isnít much of a strategy.

    Are you saying as a woman I should just do nothing and not think about it and something will fall in my lap?
    Check out my blog!
    http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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    • #92
      Originally posted by Kit View Post
      LG: I feel like daring you to flirt with him until there is nothing else to do but move forward physically
      Yeah I should probably be more flirty with him. I think I do flirt with people a lot without realizing Iím doing it but I do kind of act more aloof with guys I actually like.

      So flirt with him how? Compliments? Touching him? I feel better responding to him when he does that stuff than going out on a limb and doing it myself. He does that a lot though- tells me he likes my outfit, calls me ďgorgeousĒ tells me he loves me, etc.
      Check out my blog!
      http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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      • #93
        yuh but thats normal now, thats not out of the normal range

        go outside of your comfort zone.. allow yourself.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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        • #94
          Originally posted by Kit View Post
          yuh but thats normal now, thats not out of the normal range

          go outside of your comfort zone.. allow yourself.
          Yeah but I donít say stuff like that back to him, lol. He is always the one to initiate and compliment, etc. Iíll smile and say thank you but I donít really do any of that. Maybe I should
          Check out my blog!
          http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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          • #95
            yup
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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            • #96
              So I don't even know where to start but we did go out to lunch the other day together. He acted nervous about it but asked to borrow money again. In total, I lent him $100 (and he has already paid me back). I also treated him, though it wasn't anything expensive, because I knew he was broke and he promised to take me out to dinner sometime to make up for it. It still made me feel weird and I told him so.

              Anyhow he has gotten his first decent paycheck since then and told me he was "blessed" and that's when he paid me back. I said thank you and he said "no, thank you for being there for me". Since then he has been flirty, calling me "gorgeous" and he acted like he was jealous because I had some guys helping me get stuff out of my car. He said "I see you found my replacements" because I had asked him to help me do the same thing a couple days before that. When he helped me, I don't think he realized how far I had to take the stuff and left me with it so I said to him "yeah because you left me standing there with the stuff last time".

              In any case, when we were out to lunch he told me that his brother was taking him on a vacation for his birthday, they are going to party on the beach. Right before he left he came to see me in the office and asked if I was going to be there the next day and told me how long he was going to be gone. My girlfriend asked who was coming and he mentioned his brother and some guy they are staying with. We asked what he is going to do and he said mostly just drink on the beach. I told him to have a fun trip.

              Then, his ex girlfriend posts on Facebook that she is going to the exact same location. She posts that she is going for a DIFFERENT guy's bday, and tagged the other guy. On his birthday she is suddenly friends with him again and posting "Happy Birthday Handsome, <3 you, can't wait to party with you" stuff. So, obviously they are going together, and maybe getting back together.

              Anyhow, I'm confused. Like, why would he hide from me that they are getting back together or that he is going on a trip with her? He knows I'm going to see this stuff and whatever pictures, etc are posted. He doesn't owe me money anymore or anything. You'd think he would want me to know they are getting back together so I wouldn't get ideas, right? But no, right before he left he was being all flirty with me and acting jealous.

              He came into my office like 4 times in a row trying to talk to me that day. I was surrounded by trainees from another dept the first time, all lined up asking questions and he was like what is going on here? I said we are having a party! Wanna join? He said he would come back later (and he did). That's when my friend and I (later) asked about his trip.

              I just don't get it. He's normally the type that he would be telling me hey, my ex and I made up and we are getting back together and would be eager about it. WTF? Also, on his Bday I just texted "Happy Birthday (his name)!! " and he seemed kind of cold. Just said "thanks" when usually he is way friendlier. Now I know he was probably on a trip with the ex so I'm glad I didn't say anything more that she could be reading over his shoulder.

              Now when we had lunch that day I had asked about his breakup and he said his personal life was kind of in shambles but that she had at least apologized. No mention of her going on the trip, even though he told me about the trip during that same lunch.

              Anyhow- why? Why hide that? If he sees me as just a friend there should be no need to hide that, right? I'm just so confused.
              Check out my blog!
              http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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              • #97
                Then he posted a live video of some bar they are at on vacation and he turns the camera back on himself then quickly turns it away before you see her. She says something, a guy comments ę who is the chick? Ľ and he turns it back and you can see her from the side a little but but itís like heís trying to hide it. I so wanna be a smart ass when he comes back and say ę your brother looks a lot like (ex girlfriends name) Ľ lol. No sign of the brother...
                Check out my blog!
                http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                • #98
                  He's going low key with the fact that he's banging this other girl out on a weekend getaway because he likes you so much

                  lol

                  My head goes back to same thought as my first post here:

                  Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                  Makes you wonder how many girls you leave tripping out after you show them a bit of flirty attention and vulnerability cause they're there.

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                  • #99
                    Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                    He's going low key with the fact that he's banging this other girl out on a weekend getaway because he likes you so much

                    lol

                    My head goes back to same thought as my first post here:
                    He flat out lied to me and the girl I work with about who he was going on a trip with. I think itís bizarre.
                    Check out my blog!
                    http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                    • Originally posted by Lovergirl View Post

                      He flat out lied to me and the girl I work with about who he was going on a trip with. I think itís bizarre.
                      He knows you're crushing hard, you've already full blown tripped out on him once, he owes you for his job, he sometimes relies on you for money, and he can't escape you cause you work together. He's not trying to stir the waters any more than necessary.

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                      • Originally posted by pureevil View Post

                        He knows you're crushing hard, you've already full blown tripped out on him once, he owes you for his job, he sometimes relies on you for money, and he can't escape you cause you work together. He's not trying to stir the waters any more than necessary.
                        That would be dumb though- telling me he was back together wouldnít stir any waters. They were together when I got him the job and we have been friends most of our lives. I specifically asked him how things were going with the breakup and he said she had apologized at least so ę better Ľ but left out that she was coming on the trip. He said he was going with his brother. He knows full well I will see anything posted by him or his ex and will find out if they are back together. That shouldnít be a big deal whether I liked him or not.

                        He canít ę escape Ľ me you say but he actively seeks me out. I donít go looking for him, he comes looking for me. I can avoid him if necessary and may for a while. I have access to the sales guys schedules and I can choose when I go to the office. I could probably go a long time without seeing him if I wanted to.

                        People around us say itís obvious he likes me so itís not like itís one sided. He shouldnít be borrowing money from me now that he is doing well in sales. Lying is way more stirring the waters and risking pissing me off than just telling me.
                        Check out my blog!
                        http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                        • K. He's banging this girl on a weekend getaway cause he wants you so bad then, clearly. Its totally a game to get you even more stirred up and emotionally invested, he likes his gfs REEAAAAAAAALLLY fucking invested before he makes a move. I'm totally wrong.

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                          • Fuck him, fuck that other girl,

                            What do you want and why don't you have it yet?
                            focus, go to the beginning.. What the fuck do you want?
                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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                            • Originally posted by Kit View Post
                              Fuck him, fuck that other girl,

                              What do you want and why don't you have it yet?
                              focus, go to the beginning.. What the fuck do you want?
                              She's already got exactly what she wants:

                              Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                              You've successfully found another hopeless situation to drive yourself nuts over for months, your favorite

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                                K. He's banging this girl on a weekend getaway cause he wants you so bad then, clearly. Its totally a game to get you even more stirred up and emotionally invested, he likes his gfs REEAAAAAAAALLLY fucking invested before he makes a move. I'm totally wrong.
                                I didnít say anything like that. Obviously they are getting back together. Iím just baffled by his dishonesty. If he wants to remain friends with me and have a decent working relationship you would think he would have been honest. It doesnít make sense to me for him to lie or hide his girlfriend, especially when she and I know each other.
                                Check out my blog!
                                http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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