Why is he acting like this?

[Lovergirl]

Fuck him, fuck that other girl,

What do you want and why don't you have it yet?
focus, go to the beginning.. What the fuck do you want?

Right now I don’t want anything with him. I’m offended by his lying and feel taken advantage of. If it’s obvious I liked him why would he play around like that- flirting and calling me « gorgeous » and acting like he was jealous of other guys I was taking to right before he left, on top of hiding the girlfriend? It’s sleazy, asshole behavior and not how you treat a friend. I thought we were better than that on a friendship level and that he would be honest.

[pureevil]

why would he play around like that- flirting and calling me « gorgeous » and acting like he was jealous of other guys I was taking to right before he left, on top of hiding the girlfriend? It’s sleazy, asshole behavior and not how you treat a friend. I thought we were better than that on a friendship level and that he would be honest.

Going in circles is fun. You get dizzy, gives you a bit of a buzz.

This sort of "fun to flirt, and I'm around you enough to be a bit vulnerable and ask advice when I'm feeling a bit down" happens with co-workers and people you're in close proximity with all the time. You're just doing you with who's close and immediately available, and she's counting up the minutes and creating checklists of reasons you are or are not ready to give your entire life to her lol.

This entirely comes down to you misreading the everyday casual "flirt with who i'm around" type of guy. And then constructing this epic 10 part miniseries in your mind over time. I told you this is what it was weeks ago, but you didn't want to listen, and since then you've made most every single error possible inner game wise. So now you're mad and he's "sleazy." Its wild to watch this stuff unfold over and over and over.

[Lovergirl]

Going in circles is fun. You get dizzy, gives you a bit of a buzz.



This entirely comes down to you misreading the everyday casual "flirt with who i'm around" type of guy. And then constructing this epic 10 part miniseries in your mind over time. I told you this is what it was weeks ago, but you didn't want to listen, and since then you've made most every single error possible inner game wise. So now you're mad and he's "sleazy." Its wild to watch this stuff unfold over and over and over.

You seem to be missing the part where he lied, twice, about who he is going on a trip with, to my face. Friendly, innocent flirting does not require that. Remember the text he sent me, that I didn’t respond to, telling me his dick was hard and asking if I wanted to help him out (this was not at work) and that we have had sex before.

[Lovergirl]

Sure, him omitting some of the people he's going on a trip with was a "lie to your face" making him a "sleazy asshole." If that helps you get over him more quickly, I'd say run with that.

Hé didn’t just omit it- he was asked who he was going on the trip with and he said his brother and that they were going to stay with another guy. He told me his brother was paying for it and taking him for his birthday.

[Lovergirl]

Even if he’s a sleazy, lying bastard, I love him as a friend and still want him to be successful at work. I could easily fuck things up for him by being angry with him or cutting him off socially at work. Hes very sensitive about being popular and people liking him and fitting in and so far he loves it there and the people. So I think I’m just going to lay low and avoid him for a while.

[Kit]

Why are you so avoidant of confrontration?

You can just ASK him whether he is lying because it sounds like bullshit to you.

[Lovergirl]

Why are you so avoidant of confrontration?

You can just ASK him whether he is lying because it sounds like bullshit to you.

I don’t have to ask- there are pics of him on the beach with her and some other friends but he is clearly back with her and he clearly lied about it. Honestly I don’t even want to talk to him for awhile and I don’t want to be around him because I know it will show on my face that I am upset. There is no point in a confrontation.

[Skills360]

It is funny to see that the same dynamics guys run into happen to girls as well, every time i think to myself "i wish i could get that girl and have her in a relationship" is the beginning of the end, usually does not work, then you go and get other women, she all of a sudden comes back...

Actually is happening to me right now with a girl, and i can help to notice the same pattern... (gorgeous young latina with amazing personality that is into me, well maybe was as of now).... For some reason i am always thinking of her, i want her to be with me = unlikely to get it due to my over investment...

We call it onitis and mild onitis... With that being said there was a seducer name dog soldier that had success seducing his onitis... My 10 years was a onitis i seduced her, it is possible but a lot of work.

Him going to his ex will even make you more attracted to him (he will occupy your mind), plus women love competition....

[Kit]

"there is no point in a confrontation"

Most friendships require honesty too. If you cant be honest eventually, what use is there in friendship

you will have to ask again and plainly state what you saw.
as I understood it you wanted to at least keep the friendship with the guy, if not more

opening up about this shit is at the least a requirement and will keep you from remembering and being confused/upset/annoyed/angry about it..

jesus LG; you are older than me.. why the fuck make it so hard?

[Lovergirl]

I can’t be friends with him now that they are dating again. It would be too painful. I care about him but I don’t want to hang around him if he’s dating someone else, not at this point. I have feelings and it just wouldn’t feel good to me.

i thought I could avoid him and wasn’t expecting him to be in the office today. I was in the break room/kitchen making a cup of coffee and hé came in and surprised me. He was cheerful as usual and said « hey Ladybug, how are you? » and looked like he wanted to give me a hug.

I was taken by surprise and everything shows on my face. I just said « I’m good » and turned away from him and was doing stuff and wouldn’t look at him. He asked how my weekend was and I said « good, it was good » and walked out of the room. My friend walked by after and said he looked really serious walking out of the kitchen.

He knows Im upset. I couldn’t hide it.

[Kit]

well talk to him, be honest.. miscommunication breeds when you stop communicating

[Lovergirl]

well talk to him, be honest.. miscommunication breeds when you stop communicating

The onus is on him to make reparations, if there are going to be any. I don’t owe him any kind of communication. He lied to me and now they are plastering that they are in a relationship and pics, etc all over Facebook.

Thats fine, but it’s not fine to lie to me and then let me see that. He had to know on some level that it would be hurtful to me because he didn’t tell me in the first place. That’s the fucked up part. He could have said hey she and I are thinking of getting back together, when I asked about it. He could have prepared me by saying she was coming on the trip, but he didn’t.

I just don’t want to give him anything of me, not even « friendship » right now, or communication, unless he makes the effort to ask me about how I feel. It’s on him.

[Kit]

i am not talking about who owes who what
or who deserves what


I am talking about what you want out of it and how you determine the outcome of things and the purity of what you want out of your nonrelationships or relationships


also i am talking about how it may do YOU good to be clear to him about what you think of it
didnt you study psychology?
doesnt it say stuff on this shit?

[Black Caesar]

This thread is gonna make me stop flirting with girls in work situations or with girls I got with years ago lol

[Lovergirl]

This thread is gonna make me stop flirting with girls in work situations or with girls I got with years ago lol

I feel like he took it farther than « flirting ». He told me, multiple times, that he felt like it was « meant to be » that he is there working with me now and that he’s so happy I’m in his life again and that I’ve always been there for him, even after the funeral we went to (which is when we had sex). He told me multiple times « I love you so much, you’re like an angel to me ». Yes, he also flirts with me but that, to me, is taking it too far with someone you don’t actually care about.