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Why is he acting like this?

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  • well what if he meant it for real?
    If he values you as a Person
    not as his next gf but as someone he really likes genuinely as a person
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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    • or angel.. whatever
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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      • Originally posted by Kit View Post
        well what if he meant it for real?
        If he values you as a Person
        not as his next gf but as someone he really likes genuinely as a person
        Thats fine- and itís up to him to let me know that if thatís the case. I havenít done anything wrong. He was dishonest and if he just loves me as a friend the flirting and telling me his dick was hard, etc was a bit over the top, considering our history.
        Check out my blog!
        http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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        • when was that? and idk, i think you are blocking it and him if it was recent
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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          • Originally posted by Kit View Post
            when was that? and idk, i think you are blocking it and him if it was recent
            When was what? When he made the comment about his dick was a couple weeks ago, and also when a girl said he looked like he wanted to rape me and he said ę I do, but in a nice way Ľ. When we had sex was a little over 2 yrs ago but he has been flirty for about a year. He only started working with me 2 months ago.

            In any case I did not go into the office until after I knew all the sales guys would have left yesterday. My friend said he was kind of unfriendly to her and just said hi and walked off. When I came in later she saw him come in and walk past me but I didnít see or notice because I was involved in helping a customer. I have no idea why he would have been there at that time anyway.

            I actually went and spent the night before last with the married guy I have been sleeping with on and off for 8 years. He was at a hotel on business a couple hours away and my ex actually had come in town to see the kids so it was perfect timing.

            Like they always say, to get over one guy, youíve gotta get under another. Hours of super hot sex definitely helped lol. He took me out to dinner and we talked about stuff- not a lot about this guy though it was mentioned briefly, more we were talking about my ex husband. Weird coincidence though is that the married guyís first babyís mom is/was engaged to and has a child with this guy I went to high school with, who is friends with and used to play football with the guy I keep talking about that now works with me. Small world.

            When we were talking about my ex, married guy tells me that he has to be gay (because he didnít used to want to have sex) and that he doesnít understand how any guy could look at me and not think about sex. He said ę you just have an aura about you that says sex and I know other guys had to have told you that Ľ.

            I donít know but maybe thatís my problem in regards to relationships. Guys just look at me and think sex, sex, sex. Iím not sure why because I actually talk about it less than a lot of the women Iím around in public and I donít talk about my escapades. I dress decently conservatively I think and not like a whore or anything lol.
            Check out my blog!
            http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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            • Yeah there is flirting and leading on flirting.... I totally flirt hard core with the girls i work with but the subcommunication is "flirting"

              this dude was not just "flirting" but subtly leading lg on.... or maybe planning to have lg as a sexual option and using lg to do "jealousy plot" with his ex.... It actually work for the dude, he started making more money and he was putting lg vs ex = more attractive = win = got back with ex (don't worry lg they will soon break up anyways)...


              I hope lg you learn your lesson is never good to be emotionally attached to a dude when is just after a relationship (happened to a bunch of girls that were with me, rebound girls are just bandages)....

              Is good to wait total de pairbonding before getting emotionally invested in a dude that just broke up (at least 6 months to a year depending on the dude)... you can mess with them but with the fb context no i want this dude to be my bf context.


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              • Originally posted by Skills360 View Post
                Yeah there is flirting and leading on flirting.... I totally flirt hard core with the girls i work with but the subcommunication is "flirting"

                this dude was not just "flirting" but subtly leading lg on.... or maybe planning to have lg as a sexual option and using lg to do "jealousy plot" with his ex.... It actually work for the dude, he started making more money and he was putting lg vs ex = more attractive = win = got back with ex (don't worry lg they will soon break up anyways)...


                I hope lg you learn your lesson is never good to be emotionally attached to a dude when is just after a relationship (happened to a bunch of girls that were with me, rebound girls are just bandages)....

                Is good to wait total de pairbonding before getting emotionally invested in a dude that just broke up (at least 6 months to a year depending on the dude)... you can mess with them but with the fb context no i want this dude to be my bf context.
                I have to wonder if there was some intention to make her jealous by talking to me. For one, this summer, when they were apparently broken up for two months (but I didnít know at the time- he mentioned the breakup this summer recently), he had asked me to come to watch the Mayweather fight and I turned him down. It wasnít super direct, he asked if I was going to go to this guyís house but I thought it was weird because I thought he was still with his girlfriend. They were back together again shortly after that though.

                Also, she dumped him right around when he was hired where I work and I have to wonder if she flipped out on him for coming to work with me. Itís a great opportunity for him but I donít doubt that she felt threatened. That and one of her best girlfriends deleted me off Facebook too which was weird. Plus now that they are back together sheís posting a zillion pics that she knows I can see. He told me she had gotten upset and jealous when a girl posted on one of his pics (before they broke up this time) asking if he was married. So she does have a jealous streak and he would go on there liking and commenting on my stuff, which she could see.

                As far as the job, it is a life changing opportunity for him and yeah if we hadnít been flirting and interacting i probably never would have mentioned it. He called wanting to work with me about 4 months ago, but we had been flirting back and forth a while, while he was dating her but we never did anything.

                Usually I do not get attached to men Im not currently having sex with. I donít even know how that happened because it is so unlike me, but for whatever reason I have developed an emotional attachment to him. :/ I know they will probably break up again, but like you said it will take forever for him to get over with. It just makes me sad because I really do like him.

                Oh well, life goes on, right? He came in the office again today. He was walking toward me down the hall and starts waving excitedly at me and says ę you look nice today Ľ and I just said ę hi Ľ and quickly ducked into another room so I wouldnít have to talk to him. The rest of the time he was there he kept lurking around and looking my way and kind of acting like he wanted to come over but I kept myself super busy talking to various people and doing things so he wouldnít come talk and he finally left.
                Check out my blog!
                http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                • Why don't you talk with him and get it over with for yourself?
                  I don't think you are going to let this go without actually talking with him..

                  (well you could but i doubt you ever would)
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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                  • Originally posted by Kit View Post
                    Why don't you talk with him and get it over with for yourself?
                    I don't think you are going to let this go without actually talking with him..

                    (well you could but i doubt you ever would)
                    I'm not going to go chasing after someone that basically rejected me after leading me on. That's just looking for further embarrassment and pain. If he wants to talk, he knows how to find me.
                    Check out my blog!
                    http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                    • Originally posted by Lovergirl View Post

                      I'm not going to go chasing after someone that basically rejected me after leading me on. That's just looking for further embarrassment and pain. If he wants to talk, he knows how to find me.
                      ^ yeah! that is right...


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                      • talking doesnt need to mean chasing, jesus
                        double standards

                        you expect him to do what you yourself wouldnt do​​​​​

                        this is why it will never work out this way
                        if nobody is willing to be vulnerable nothing will ever come out anyway

                        skills, do you think if a girl comes to you to talk about why you lied to her, she is chasing you?

                        Would you think less of her afterwards?

                        same Q to LG
                        if he came up to you to ask you why you lied, how would you react?
                        ​​​​​
                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Kit View Post
                          talking doesnt need to mean chasing, jesus
                          double standards

                          you expect him to do what you yourself wouldnt do​​​​​

                          this is why it will never work out this way
                          if nobody is willing to be vulnerable nothing will ever come out anyway

                          skills, do you think if a girl comes to you to talk about why you lied to her, she is chasing you?

                          Would you think less of her afterwards?

                          same Q to LG
                          if he came up to you to ask you why you lied, how would you react?
                          ​​​​​
                          yeah chasing is the wrong term, but i think lg point is to put a boundary and not reward a questionable behavior(the dude does similar thing i have done in the past that is how i know, though i would never entertain a coworker).... I know lg for years, and she comes across a bit gullible with some post (she is just being a girl in the post she has a question but with emotion, and a bit attention seeking), but she is pretty good at social dynamics, she is just putting a boundary and letting him know that she is not ok with what happened...


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                          • Originally posted by Kit View Post
                            talking doesnt need to mean chasing, jesus
                            double standards

                            you expect him to do what you yourself wouldnt do​​​​​

                            this is why it will never work out this way
                            if nobody is willing to be vulnerable nothing will ever come out anyway

                            skills, do you think if a girl comes to you to talk about why you lied to her, she is chasing you?

                            Would you think less of her afterwards?

                            same Q to LG
                            if he came up to you to ask you why you lied, how would you react?
                            ​​​​​

                            If he comes and actually talks to me, I might express to him how I feel, but he hasn't done that. If the shoe were on the other foot, and I had lied and gotten back with an ex, I would probably feel guilty. I would probably avoid him and be embarrassed for him if he came after me asking questions. I'd probably tell some white lies to try and lessen the blow, but I would feel like I had to reject him even further. Ouch. More pain....

                            Today he was in the office but maybe avoiding me more. It's hard to say. I did run into him a couple times.

                            The first time I was in the kitchen. Someone had made cornbread and collard greens. I'm like who makes that for breakfast, in April? Then I see him in the kitchen talking to a guy and he asks me if I had any of it because he made it? I was like, oh, I didn't know YOU made this- and he insisted that I try the greens, since the cornbread was all gone. He was walking out of the room but I did try a bite.

                            Then he walked past me, when I was training someone, and asks if I tried the greens and if I liked them and I said yes and yes they were good. Obviously, I'm going to be polite. Then I left for lunch with a friend and he was gone when I came back. I'm not making myself very available, but he's also not going out of his way to talk to me.

                            Check out my blog!
                            http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                            • I finally did say something to him- a few weeks ago, not long after my last post. He had commented something to my friend about us seeming super busy lately and I later texted him that I wasnít not talking to him because I was busy but because I was upset.

                              He claimed he didnít lie to me and that he just said he was going to stop and see his brother but that is a lie as my friend was there and witnessed what he said. I said that i donít feel comfortable being too friendly when heís got a girlfriend and he tried to argue with me and say but we have been friends forever and i said yeah but we have been more than that and he said ok he understood.

                              In any case he tried to say he wasnít trying to make me feel bad by not telling me but then proceeded to post more in my face pics the next day. I got upset and told him to go fuck himself.

                              So he comes in my office a couple days later (in front of a whole training class because the door was open) and says he canít bear me being mad at him and that he loves me and wants to talk. However, I was super busy that day and then he had to leave on an appointment. We havenít spoken since. Itís been a couple of weeks. We have been in the office at the same time a couple of times but he made no effort to come talk to me so Iím not making any to talk to him. He is avoiding my friend too and doesnít say anything to her now.
                              Check out my blog!
                              http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                              • He already said the ball is in your court when he said he wanted to talk. You want to put him in a more vulnerable position.
                                Dont think you see it yet but yeah
                                go talk; Don't think it will weaken your position. Be confident and strong.
                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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